A peek to a lawyer/partypants drama-ish life..

How to create Simple Kardashians Smoky Eyes Look!

2012-02-07T21:45:00.003+08:00

heya darlings,

I've been owing you guys this video for quite sometime so sorry tak upload earlier. So, to those who wanna learn how to re-create a simple smoky eyes makeup look a'la the Kardashians, you may view this video that i have uploaded in You.tube by this link:

http://youtu.be/FfW8L_AIuoY

(or u may search and subscribe me BlondyLeopardy on Youtube)

If you guys are curious on the products that I used in this vid, the following is the list of cosmetics that ive used:

1) Primer by MAC- i highly recommend for those with oily face and wanna have a longer lasting makeup all day;

2) Foundation, Concealer and loose powder by MAC- this 3 steps ensures flawless and 'doll' finishing compared to 2-way cake compact foundation powder;

3) Eyebrow pencil by Maybelline (dark brown);

4) Eyeshadow by 88 neutral makeup palettes (buy online)- highly recommended to those yg suka earthy tones for different colors for smoky looks;

5) Liquid liner by Prestige (black) [can get it at Sasa]- best liquid liner for me so far compared to all other brands. Cheap and most importantly, tip brush dia tebal and macam pen, easy to handle and draw;

6) Mascara- Falsies by Maybelline- current favourite!;

7) Lipstick by NYX (brown based nude color);

8) Gloss by H&M(pastel pink color);

9) Bronzer/shimmer by Bodyshop (to sculpt cheeks);

Okay, hope the video tutorial helps. Sorry masih kaku lagi dalam vid tu, tak biasa kan. I promise i'll be my crazy self on my next tutorial which im gonna upload superr soonnnn.. Muahx!

The Man who threw my concentration down the drain.

2012-01-31T00:11:00.003+08:00

Re.my Is.hak....acting all mushy and mysteriously charming. Need i say more?????!!!

Congrats to Alyah. Tak sia2 dia buat gimik panggil Remy. But many was dissapointed that he was on stage less than 3 minutes i guess.. since no one knows about it except for Alyah, Remy and close friends. The production didn't know (hence the reason why when Remy entered the stage the camera was not focused at him).

I can ogle at him for like, 80 times. Sinful.

Tall, dark, handsome, charming, humble, low profile.... most importantly, not cocky. Sigh.. indah betul ciptaan tuhan ni..

Xoxo!!

No time for facial?? No problem!

2012-01-26T23:48:00.003+08:00

heya darlings...

ya know, previously i used to have the time to go for facial however nowdays, time is a luxury for me. So, in order to still maintain and jaga kulit muka, my routine is going around beauty stores like Sasa, Natures Republic, SKII , etc and even watsons and buy all different types of ranges of masks in packets that you can easily buy from RM4.90-RM20.00 per piece. (sebenarnya , at first i rambang mata coz the packaging are sooo cute and adorable kebanyakkannya. So, at the same time memang i dah lama tak gi facial, why not do it yourself at home religiously, right?? Hehehe..i know..sounds like im finding excuses to buy these cute adorable packages...wadeeverrrr)

I've been adopting this routine of applying the face masks 3-4 times a week since ive been feeling old as this year i am going into my 3-series years. Apply it on your face for 15-20 minutes. Certain masks requires you to wash your face after you take out the masks and ada yang tak payah cuci to let the ingredients of the masks seeps into ur skin..

However, a tip i wanna share, kalau nak beli masks ni untuk tujuan anti-ageing, firming and also hydrate the skin, i always look for masks yg contain either Collagen, Q10 or Hydraulic Acid (HA) or a combination of all..these ingredients are the essentials to fight wrinkles, to combat ageing and to plump up your skin to make it softer....

Tadi when i went to Sasa, first time i jumpa packet mask yg contained all three major essential ingredients tu by B-LIV brand, a brand from singapore. So tadi i dah try..and it felt good. And Cheap!!! its RM6.90 per packet je!!

I am actually trying to heal my skin from all the burns due to tanning in Bali haritu sebenarnya..

So to those yang takde masa and budget to go to saloons to do facials, you can go to beauty stores and get yourself these masks that you can apply at night before you sleep. Better start young! Prevention is always better than cure darlings!!!

Without effort, there will be no lasting beauty. muahsx!

12.33am in the morning..

2012-01-25T00:33:00.002+08:00

I've been sleeping like a corpse for the past 4 days as it was a long weekend due to the CNY holidays..now i can't sleep when i need to go to work tomorrow!!

instead of going out like others during the holidays, ive realised that i havent been getting much sleep for the past weeks and decided to sleeeeeep allll the wayyy..

sekarang...masalah. takley tido.

I am currently a youtube addict so ive been going through vids and half-sleepy.

gotta work tomorrow. Got a possible client to meet-up.

Maybe i should go read my novels yang tak abis lagi tu.. yeah maybe that should shut my eyes..

Ok, gudnite and sleep tight everyone!xoxooo

p/s: ive just finished editing my 3rd video on smokey 'Kardashian' eyes makeup tutorial. So probably tomorrow i should be downloading it. muahx.

My video on how to apply fake lashes. Subscribe me Blondyleopardy on Youtube!

2012-01-23T12:49:00.001+08:00

Subscribe me to get latest updates automatically by pressing the 'Subscribe' button on the top of the vid on Youtube and Like my video if you find it helpful! xoxo!!

Project Vainpot- Subscribe me at BlondyLeopardy on Youtube!

2012-01-23T12:34:00.003+08:00

Darlings!

Firstly, Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Holidays to all out there celebrating..may the year of the Dragon brings prosperity and abundance!

Finally I have come up with a channel on Youtube for beauty tips and reviews, as promised! However since im a beginner in recording myself, please please please apologize if im either spoke slowly or i wasn't looking at the camera the whole time etc..kan beginner kan..

So i've come up with 2 videos- 1) my current essential beauty tips and how to apply fake lashes.. today im going to do vids on makeup tutorial on smokey eyes and maybe the 1950's look.. if sempat.

So, if nak senang u guys can just go to youtube and type 'BlondyLeopardy' and my vids will come out and just press the button 'Subscribe' on the top left of your screen supaya next time when you masuk youtube you will be automatically updated with my latest vids..

I am still learning on how to capture my own vids correctly.. so if you guys have any questions or any product that you wanna ask..anything...just leave a comment at the vids ya..

Hope you guys will like it and hope the tips helps!! Support me by liking my vids ya! xoxo!

Project Vainpot- All about Beauty!!

2012-01-05T12:44:00.002+08:00

Darrrrlinggss......

Having this blog for years makes me realise that my blog has been all about my personal updates and daily living, life experience, whether shitty or good and some teladan la.. Then it occured to me, why not I insert something that I have been obsessed all these years into my blog? Which is about B-E-A-U-T-Y!

Yes, I admit and most of my dear friends knows that i am such a Barbie.. kalau pegi travel confirm curling tong, hairdryer, mekap sebag tak pernah tinggal.. heheh

So, Project Vainpot is an idea, which im realising soon, where my main agenda is to help all of my friends who have been asking me for years, about makeup, hair and other beauty questions.

So, I going to have a channel in Youtube, im loading up videos to share you guys about my hair and beauty tips and also tips on beauty i.e- product reviews, whats good and whats reasonable to get and where to get all those stuffs. Furthermore, I can share with you guys some tricks so takyah laa susah2 dah nak depend on makeup artists ke, depend on others to do certain things to beautify yourself!

Contohnya on how to do smokey eyes makeup ke, neutral look ke, curly hair ke..hair extensions ke...etc... whether what product works well etc...

Contoh: How to do smokey eyes makeup macam ni and tips for long lasting eyemakeup that wont crease!!

By the way, the videos im making are for my beloved friends and readers.. for fun and to help also.. so if any of you have a problem with me or find me annoying, tak payah tengok kay coz im doing this for my lovelies... so Langaus takyah tengok (bak kata Chef Wan.. heheh)

I'll put up the videos one by one or any product reviews on this blog for you all. However, jangan salah faham kay, im not a pro or a makeup guru... through these videos i will also do trial and errors pasal i pun bukannya terer sangat..my day job tak involve makeup langsung so sorry if my cosmetic routines or tips tak sesuai ke or you tak suka kay...However sesiapa ada questions they can ask me no problem and will try my best to assist kay...

Sharing is Caring... Tibe..

And for your info, i dont use all same brand cosmetics. I love mixing up and I even use cheap and reasonable products.. as long as it works baybeehhh!!!

And FYI, im a beginner in You.tube so sorry if my recordings are not high quality compared to you.tube addicts out there...

Okay i'll upload the vid asap ya... stay tuneeddd... Muahx....

Sekembali dari Bali.

2012-01-03T16:10:00.002+08:00

Hello my fellow darleengs...

Sorry sangat dah lama tak hapdet. I went to Bali for a week and came back busy with work straight after that.

Basically, my tanned skin can give Jersey Shore a run for their money. Hari2 tanning either kat tepi pool or the beach. Serious gelapp gile i sekarang smpaikan my soft pink lipstick now looks soo florescent that I look like Ni.kii Mi.naj.. Seriouss.....

I had a fabulous time in Bali with another 10 of my luvlies, where we checked into a Villa in Seminyak and went shopping, spa, temple tours , surfing and sunbathing at the beach!

I can say that although its not my first time to Bali, i still didnt have enough time touring the whole so called 'Islands of the Gods' coz there were like hundreds of 'Pura' or ancient temples and the shopping is just....crazyy...just crazyyy.. everywhere is like, flea market here n there!! I literally went bonkers!!

Okay, enough with words, enjoy the pictures:

This is the busy and happening Legian. Sangat happening and i felt like im in OZ when i was here as its was 99percent Aussie-populated.Clubs are bangin until the wee hours and the roads are badly jammed until 3-4am..

Dreamland Beach in Uluwatu... best beach to surf sampaikan takley nak swim coz the waves kuat and besar sangat. Even i yang gems ni berapa kali terdampar coz kena waves walaupun duduk kat tepi beach je..... i lovee lovee lovee this beach!!

Dreamland beach bila dah sore. Time ni air dah pasang sampai kena umbrella beach kiteorang..

Offerings. something you see every corner in Bali. They have to prepare this daily for their gods as 90pc of Balinese are Hindu.

This was captured at Pura Tirta Empul. Di pendalaman dekat ngan gunung.. dia ada banyak mata air and each mata air represent a meaning i.e: for good luck, for jodoh, utk health, buang sial. Ramai balinese and even tourists turun ke air untuk ambil berkat air ni.. like in this pix..

The famous Uluwatu. Sangat cantek. Place where u will see alot of mischevious monkeys. Kat sini i rasa mcm nak sakit jantung coz monyet2 perangai macam monyet ni gi curi semuaaa spek orang so i terpaksa bukak spek i and jalan mcm orang buta. Selipar pun dia tarik curik!! Monkeys!!

The Kecak Show at Uluwatu. Best sangat show ni. Dia cerita pasal myth/legend about their gods...

Goa Gajah... dalam gua ni gelap sangat and banyak deities utk the Hindus to pray...

Party at Hard Rock Hotel for Mr Sweet's bday on the 5th December. So we kept the lamborghini coming all nite!!

Ni wall of Hard Rock Cafe... tak dapat nak lepak sini coz on Sunday HRC bosan gilerr takde orang sangat...

Sunset at Jimbaran. Nice view. Nice food. Nice company....

This whole seafood set for each person. Sedapp!! me loike the sambal fish.. and calamaris...

We reached Jimbaran for sunset early so have to lepak2 dulu sementara tunggu sunset and dinner....

The Sacret Tanah Lot Temple. Vey beautiful and i lovee the markets nearby Tanah Lot. By the way, theres a curse that if you go to Tanah Lot temple with your unmarried partner and if he or she is not meant for you, then you will break up within 6 weeks -6 months after your trip. Two of my friends did broke up after going to TanahLot with their exes... Hmmmm ....

The Tanah Lot entrance...

Part of my room in the villa during the day......

Ni muka i baru bangun on the first day after arriving di Bali. Dengan tak mandi bagai... sembab kan muka i.....demmss.....

Part of the villa........
The view from inside my room.... overlooking the pool and the other master bedroom....

Okay darlings.. muahx!!!

Bali.

2011-12-02T10:11:00.003+08:00

heya guys..

i have no mood to work already as i'll be flying off to KL this evening and straight to Bali tomorrow afternoon for a week-long holiday with my group of lovelies..

so i hope to have fab time chillaxing + partying + shopping + snoozing whilst im there coz imma gonna anticipate very busy year next year for me!!

by the way, i have a beauty project coming up for all of you guys especially my dear friends, which i hope you guys will benefit from it, and love it too... i will share what is it the soonest once its ready for publicity, yeayyy!

Okay... henjoys your weekend darlings!! i'll update soon with my new beauty Project Vainpot! Muaxxx....

Perasan Grissom & Horatio

2011-11-17T00:29:00.002+08:00

Due to the fact that CSI and CSI Miami are kind of my favorite series since few years back, when I stumbled into a suspected homocide case, i was really excited to go to the crime scene to do some personal investigation to help the deceased family.

Family simati adalah family orang kampung yang susah, who can't even understand proper english. So when they brought their case for me to go through and assist, i was pumped. Tak kesahlah if its even going to be a pro bono case for me.

Finally, insya allah dengan izin allah i dapat tolong orang. At the same time, doing and investigating the field that I like.

Bila polis bawak ke crime scene, i tried to apply all the CSI theories that i've learned from tv and also from my forensic classes that i studied during my uni years. To identify cause of death, we can look at the circumstances and the location and also try to figure and remake what had actually transpired on that fatal day.

In a case, kita tak boleh depend sebulat2nya on statements sahaja. Its crucial to try to figure out yourself to see the probabilities of what might had happened..

Heran kenapa tak ramai detektif perempuan. Mesti best jadik detective. Maybe ladies can't put up with the hours and the job description kot.. i find it very interesting..

Sorry dah lama tak update blog. Been very busy sejak akhir2 ni. But im loving it.

Do what you love, and do it well. Muah!

Traumatised by him.

2011-10-26T13:46:00.003+08:00

As much as how strong I was during my divorce or how happy I am now, I am deeply traumatised when I met someone, two days ago.

He came in to the office for a civil claim from a criminal act that was done upon him, and while i was interviewing him, trying to figure out what is the core of the problem, he went and told me that he is depending on medication, daily, for his depression.

I asked why and how long is he been on depression, his answer startled me and buat I terasaaaaa sangat. And worried.

" I have been depressed due to my parent's divorce as i only found out they were divorced when i was 15. Now I am 35 and i still depend on medication due to the severity of my depression, due to the impact of my parent's divorce"

Here, I am, being a single mother, with a child, who was so over my divorce and happily living my life. And now standing in front of me is a 6 foot plus man who is mentally affected by what had happened many2 years ago.

Suddenly I worry, that my only son gonna grow up and be emotionally affected like him. I am scared. I am stunned. As much as i know there were no way out from my previous marriage BUT divorce, seeing a matured man , telling me on how his parents issues affected his mental until today, deeply affected me.

My son thankfully is an angel. Never created a problem for me. A friend to me. Not some problematic boy with attitude problem nor emotionally wrecked and a chaos at school. No. He is,thankfully to god, after all that has happened, a good, gentle boy who is a prefect in his school. Who enjoys eating just like his mom and loves travelling, outing and playing like other kids. Even a Romeo, I must say. All these thanks to my parents support who had been my core in taking care of him while I dealt with bullshits in the past.

But still, seeing that man worries me. He told me he got married at the age of 32 because he has a fear of commitment after seeing his parents separating before that, only to get married when he tot he finally met, the one.

Will my son grew up as tough-as-nails like me, or deeply wrecked like him? Deep inside everyday i apologized that i could not give a perfect family for my son. I accept full responsibility of not being able to provide a perfect dad for him. Tapi dah takdir.

Dear God, it is tough enough to be the mother and a father to a kid. Please don't let my son be deeply affected as how the man I met. Please.

Fat Ass,again.

2011-10-03T02:46:00.003+08:00

My actual intention was to only take a month break from gym, that is during fasting month.

I end up dragging the holiday and today marked the end of my 2 months break from daily workout.

Im going back to gym with a vengeance. Seriously, my new office is surrounded with loads of food choices.

I am supposed to start working out back tomorrow, i shall not be weak.

Although i know the first day after a long break will be HELL.

Throughout my workout break hols, i didnt binge but ive been eating like, frequent. So im worried.

This picture below was taken today, and goddaym, i think ive gained some weight on my ass, definitely.

Gym. im back to kick ass!!!

Meet the new me: As Criminal Defence Lawyer.

2011-09-13T22:51:00.003+08:00

(an old picture of me and the king in 2008 when i was called to the Bar and officially fit to practise law in courts of Malaya)

This is my second week on my new job. Doing and learning and experiencing criminal cases. Most was shocked or just don't understand why I left my previous which was comfortable, secured and established to where most lawyers or people with legal background dread to go: Criminal Litigation.

However,i did not look for this job.Cuma dengan izin allah dipertemukan dengan boss2 baru i yang kebetulan sedang mencari lawyers who are daring enough to accept. After much thought, i've decided to accept the offer and be a man took a leap!

Yeah. I took a huge risk. I took an 180 degrees turn. I basically took a chance. Why? Because I believe, what separates a successful person and the norm is the bravery to take risk and pursue your dream. Irregardless whatever people say or advices. Furthermore, I believe that we mould our own path and future and rezeki tak terletak atau bergantung pada sesebuah syarikat or a person. Rezeki comes from Allah. Jika niat kita baik dan tak busuk, insya allah se-impossible mana a dream may seems, it is attainable.

So, here I am, back to Darkside, learning from scratch, in order to embrace all the criminal laws and experience again. To tell you the truth, when I was practising back then,I had minimal experience in litigation and zerooo experience in criminal. This is basically a HUGE LEAP. All due to my passion towards criminal law.

But I have faith. Insya allah, god will not give you a chance that you are unable to hadap. Peduli la orang nak cakap i gila or saiko. Yes, I know women do not dare to pursue career in criminal litigation as mana ada perempuan suka jumpa accused kat jails yang busuk tu, mengadap orang2 kena tangkap di lokap reman dan mengadap perangai orang pelbagai jenis. Criminal lawyers are a minority, apatah lagi perempuan! But that is what I like- meeting and observing different characters each day. The nitty gritty job is definitely my cup of tea.

Tipulah kalau i cakap i tak nervous. Yes I am nervous,risau dan seram sejuk. Tapi hari-hari I berdoa semoga Allah berkati i and berikan i kekuatan. If I myself dont change my life, bila nak successful and be different from others?

Don't get me wrong. Ada few including some kawan2 dari zaman uni couldn't understand why, as a lady, and as a Muslim, im willing to help defend the accused/ OKT. Firstly, please understand that not all orang kena tangkap atau accused bersalah. They are Innocent until proven guilty. And some did ask " Habis tu kau tolong orang jahat la?" This is what i think and my conscience believe : Setiap apa yang berlaku, tuhan yang izinkan. If a lawyer seterer mana pun, kalau tuhan wants him/her punished, he or she will be found guilty. However, if i just do my job and believe that he or she is innocent and there are justifiable grounds why an offence was done, and he or she got away and acquitted, second chance itu datang dari Allah kerana tidak ada apa yang akan berlaku tanpa izinya bukan? I am just a mere kuli/ worker doing my job.

Dont get me wrong. Of course i takkan berhati nak defend clearcut rapist or murderer yang secara jelas dan nyatanya memang bersalah. Itu memang didoa dijauhkan.Its not about money, its about helping people. Tahu tak betapa besarnya pahala jika i dapat merubah perangai seseorang jika seseorang itu diberikan second chance dan berubah baik? I myself aint no saint so i know,its not that easy to change and jadi baik. It takes determination and discipline and definitely hard work.

I left a comfortable 9-5 corporate job for sleepless nites and trips to jail. Yes this is the real me. Finally i'm pursuing my dream. To become a defence lawyer. God bless insyaallah. If you have a dream, believe in yourself,have faith, doa banyak2 kat Allah and Just Do It! (and no,im not the new spokeperson for Nike ok)

Have you done anything to pursue your dream yet?? Bersusah susah dahulu.....

Terlampau banyak untuk dihapdet.

2011-09-07T23:13:00.002+08:00

Salam Aidilfitri.. maafkan segala kata2 kasar or salah and silap iols...

Im missing Ramadhan tapi nak buat mcmana kan...30 days of fasting passed by soooo fast like a blink of an eye.. sighh... first time raya Ramadhan tu amat bermakna and tak cukup.. tak taulah kalo segala ibadat tu cukup untuk dibuat bekalan...

Anyways..dalam masuk Lembaran ni, iols telah membuka buku baru dengan menerima offer untuk praktis semula ke mahkamah- meaning back to work as a practising lawyer in a lawfirm, instead of continuing as a in-house company's legal advisor, in order to pursue my passion to do criminal law and insya allah, jika ada rezeki, Syariah skali so i can help my dear friends who are entangled with syariee-related problems.

So, on last 5th September i started working at my new office and my first day was quite interesting, observing my boss at the court and went to jail to see a client. Now i understand why ladies are not into criminal apart from the dangerous part, as its kinda of nitty gritty tough work as you have to remain your composure as a professional dealing with your clients, irregardless whatever situation and you shall not be judgemental. Your focus is, to help.

Bulan Ramadhan telah membantu saya lose antoher 5 kgs but i believe half of it is water retention.. so im planning to puasa 6 to help me maintain the weight loss...

Sebenarnya, ada gak berberapa masalah sedang membengkak didada ni tapi i guess takyah ah nak blog about it demi kebaikan bersama (pehal ayat skema ni tetibe). I can just pray,pray and pray ....

Pictures? Ishall upload some raya pix tomorrow kay coz haku tak koser dah ni nak menaip n mendownload.. so i'll hapdet u guys tomorrow..

Sorry dah lama tak update.. been busy with Ramadhan/Raya/new Job/new Probs.

Love,hugs n kisses!!

Unwell...

2011-08-23T16:16:00.002+08:00

I am unwell today..

Habis wasted puasa sehari ni... dari pagi sakit tekak..lelangit rasa pedih sangat and block nose all the way. I think my room's aircond is too cold or because i pegi mandi pagi2buta tadi pagi..

I hate when i have block nose as i cant breathe, sleep or eat. Serious benci gila..

I ada benda nak update but i have to go pickup my son at school now.. so i'll update you guys tonite je la..

Stay tuned and selamat berbuka uolssss.....Muahh!

Salam.

Islamic Post for Ex-Party Animals : 10 Malam terakhir

2011-08-18T08:46:00.002+08:00

Salam darlings,

Today marked the 18th Ramadhan and suddenly i do feel quite sad that Ramadhan is going to end soon, something that i never felt before. Dulu tiap kali Ramadhan rasa macam burden sangat tak dapat makan and do normal stuffs. This year, im feeelinn it and finally i understand why some people sedih when Ramadhan ended..

Bulan berkat ni memang kita kena kalo boleh dah terbuka hati cuba kumpul pahala sebanyak mungkin. I now spend my free time pegi youtube tengok ceramah Ustaz Ka.zim Elias .. serious ceramah dia kelakar and lawak gila but very educating. Especially for beginners yang cetek ilmu agamanya like me. Sesapa yang free takde keje bulan ramadhan ni sila2 laa gi youtube and listen to his ceramah. I thank my bff Arpah for introducing me to him..

Esok dah masuk hari ke 19 kita berpuasa so as we ollss know, 10 malam terakhir Ramadhan adalah yang paling berkat sekali terutama to those who wanna search for Malam Lailatulqadar, malam seribu bulan pahalanya. Sesiapa yang beruntung beribadat pada malam ni insya allah dimakbulkan segala doanya dan pahalanya besar tak terhingga, lebih baik dari seribu bulan , bersamaan dengan lebih 80 tahun.. Malam Lailatuqadar amat istimewa sebab itulah malam turunnya Alquran dan malaikat sebok naik turun bumi dan langit....

Also please note that sesiapa yang beruntung mendapat malam Lailatulqadar , tetiba berlakunya perkara pelik pada anda, silalah take note.. kengkadang tanpa kita sedari itu adalah rahmatnya..

I am hoping that i wont miss doing my best the last 10 days nie.. marilah sama2 kita sungguh2 coz berkat sangat. Last 10 days also dikatakan fasa pembebasan dari api neraka as the first phase was fasa pengampunan. Semoga tuhan ampunkan segala dosa2 lampau kita dan diangkat darjat ke lebih tinggi dengan ibadat2 kita. Semoga diterima segala ibadat kita...

Malam Lailatuqadar mengikut hadith adalah pada malam ganjil pada sepuluh malam terakhir Ramadhan. Tujuan Allah tidak memberi tahu harinya adalah kerana inginkan umatnya bersungguh-sungguh mengejar ibadat sebanyak2nya... They said that di pagi Malam Lailatulqadar itu, weather akan mendunggg tak panas and sejuk je.. rahmat kan...

Ibnu Abbas radliyallahu’anhu berkata: Rasulullah shallahu’alaihi wa sallam bersabda:

“Lailatul qadar adalah malam tentram dan tenang, tidak terlalu panas dan tidak pula terlalu dingin, esok paginya sang surya terbit dengan sinar lemah berwarna merah” (Hadist hasan)

So, beringat-ingat laa dear readers. sesapa yang sebok beribadat tu, good luck in finding Lailatulqadar, insya allah!!

Ok i need to go uolsss.... Selamat berbukaa!

My 'Man'.

2011-08-11T20:18:00.003+08:00

Today i woke up late with a stomach ache...

While i was contemplating whether to go to work or clinic, my dearest son managed to give me a zapppp with his words..

Him : You sakit perut ke mami?

Me: Yeah laa.. adoii... hmmm

Him: Ni dah lambat ni, nak pegi office jugak ke? Taknak gi doctor?

Me: Tak sure la.. nak pegi clinic ke tak ha....

Him: U know... u dah stay sini dah berapa lama dah... you rarely go to doctor. If u ask me,u pikir laa.. MANA LAGI PENTING.. YOUR WORK, OR YOUR LIFE....?

Me: ~terkedu terdiam~

Him: Dah, no need to go to work. Go see doctor. I'll follow you...

Mungkin tuhan tu tak bagi aku suami untuk take good care of me, but i now believe i do have such a caring soon-to-be man, who i think, siapa dapat jadi bini dia bila dia besar nanti insya allah beruntung.. sangat caring dan loving..

He worries when im not well, he worries when i don't go out, he worries when im back late and he sure worries if im stress. Ive learned to stop counting what i don't have, as he is one of the biggest blessing god gave me..

Alhamdulillah...

In love with 'Abg Aidil'.

2011-08-09T10:11:00.003+08:00

(Uolss tau kan i tak pernah langsung and memang tak suka post liriks in my blog. But today i need to make an exception, coz this particular song has been playing nonstop in my mind for the past few months.. and feeeellin it today...)

Lewat ini ku rasakan
Kasih kian ku dambakan
Resah hati yang ku pendam
Pada takdir dan harapan

Detik waktu dan suratan
Siapa tahu ketentuan
Ku mencari cahayanya
Dalam bayang kegelapan

Nur kasih
Nur kasih

Nasib hidup dan pilihan
Lain hukum setiap insan
Mengharapkan perjalanan
Dalam maya kesamaran

Nur kasih
Nur kasih

Aku kembali kerana masih
Mencari yang hakiki
Sinar pasti
Janji suci yang abadi

Ooo kasih
Nur kasih

Aku kembali kerana
Masih mencari yang hakiki
Sinar pasti
Janji suci yang abadi

Yes, i am in love with Abg Aidil in Nur Kasih. Call me cheesy but i just adore his character. Beriman sungguh... sighhh.....tapi at the end of the day, dalam alquran ada mengatakan bahawa wanita yang baik, jodohnya dengan yg baik, dan wanita yang tak baik jodohnya pada yang tak baik juga.. so terang2 laa dulu aku banyak dosa kan.. so paham2 sendiri laa kan i takkan dapat pasangan hidup (if i ever pun kawin in future) yang sebaik2 Abg Aidil... redha la...

Can't get it out of my head.

2011-08-08T09:31:00.002+08:00

I ada masalah, ada tiga lagu sekarang ni asyik non-stop dalam otak i, maybe because i asyik rewind the bideoclips kat youtube. These are the three songs i cant get enough, been playing it all day:

1) Kisah Hati by Alya- Because i kept on hearing this song on the tv during stanza.cinta and kat bideoclip tu ada yummaylicious Re.my Ishak yg sangat smookin dalam bideoclip tu...not forgetting my Romeo son kept on singing this during showers and around the house. Dasar mat jiwang!!

2) Down on Me by Jeremih & 50 cents- I love 50 dah nak dekat 10 years dah. Can never get enough of him...

3) Don't stop the party by Black.Eye.Peas- Need i say more??

Daaaa............

Bitch Fits during Fasting. Dugaan.

2011-08-02T13:30:00.007+08:00

Salam everyone and happy fasting..

Bulan puasa kali ni dugaan memang megabombastikus...

Sejak hari pertama dah boleh terasa bahang dugaan, bukan dugaan makanan ye.. ni semua dugaan menduga kesabaran hateeeeee dan perasaaann....

For example, on my second and third day fasting ada orang asyik cari gaduh by kept on pushing my buttons..

As all of my beloved readers know, i can be considered as a gym freak nowdays whereby i spend most nights at gym trying to kill myself and my fats. So, since its Ramadhan, most muslims were affected since classes starts at 5.30pm,6.30pm and 7.30pm. So upon request by many muslims, the gym gladly change the timetable by delaying half and hour je for every class. Good enough for us..

Then, there are these few insensitive inconsiderate gym members who then complained and demanded the gym to change the timetable and the gym, dunno why, changed the timetable back to normal. So many muslims were annoyed and there were like exchange of words in the gym's fb site.

So when i read all the insensitive comments, i spoke my mind in a mannered way and voice out that due to the fact that they are sooo not 1Malaysia and insensitive, inconsiderate self centered and selfish, we all have to freeze lah out account for a month and cancel our plan to workout after breaking fast during ramadhan..

Then one of the ladies made a remark, questioning why we call them insensitive and inconsiderate. Like HELLLOOOOO BIMMBOOO??! How stupiddd can you be right??!!

And got to cheek to be angry and complained why we call them insensitive towards religion and she went on and say that they practice fasting also during Le.nt month but never requested for change of timetable..

U gotta be kidding me. Le.nt month is consist of fasting from eating red meat and festivities, unlike us who have to abstain from drinking water n eating whole day. Kau gila ke hapa nak tukar timetable just because kau tak makan daging?!! serious, does this girl goes to school or not???!!

Mak pon hapaa lagi uolssss menyirapppp muka yg gelap ni pun jadi merah mcm sirap uolsss...Ikutkan hati nak je zassszissszussskan sekolahkan dia balas msg dia yg bodoh bangang tak sekolah tu kan? Ya allah nasib baik dia bukan depan aku kalo tidak konfirm kena muay thai uolsss..

Pas tu i pun menarik napas istighfar, cubaa remain sabar tanpa mengeluarkan sebarang FBombs and next dia minah tu siap private msg i lagi!! Suruh i jgn suka2 panggil orang insensitive self centered etc... OMGIIII memang perang dunia bosniaa meletuss laa kan uolss..

I reply balik, ckp hey benda ni since yesterday dah settle , pehal nak cari gaduh kan? What i have said are fair comments that has transpired from their own actions, not malicious nor defaming at all. Memang laaa haku sembor kan... heeee komform laa pahala kurang lagik.. Even my non-muslim colleagues said this bimbo is just too much and deserved to be called insensitive bytch.

Hari pertama gi terawih dahlah sampai lambat coz rumah ada guests and sampai masjid je kena park kete jalan kaki sekilometre. Pastu saf pula almost full, terpaksa squeeze in..pastu dah powerwalk dari parking until masjid ditambah pula aircond masjid x kuat...HABISS BASAH KUYUP i sepanjang solat but takpe, demi ibadat, itu adalah few challenges yang kita tak patot kompelin pun, kena terima seadanya.

So now dah pandai gi terawih, i cuba pegi sefrequent yang boleh pasal best.. cuma yang tak bestnya i tengok orang makin kurang makin kurang.....

Banyak lagi dugaan yg menimpa tapi i tak kuasa nak tulis kat blog ni, biarlah i sorg je tau huhuuuu.........memang menduga betul segalaa dugaan yang datang sentappp hati i uols....

Ya allah, memang mcm ni laa agaknya, bila nak cuba berubah untuk mengupgrade diri jadi baik memang lagi macam2 dugaan tuhan test kita kot...

Harap ada kekuatanlahh nak hadap semua ni...Ameeennn......

Ramadhan & Putus Tunang.

2011-08-01T14:09:00.004+08:00

Salam Ramadhan.

Today marked our first day of fasting and as much as i am happy with fasting, i do miss going all the bazaar Ramadhan around Lembah Kelang as i am now residing in KK. This is my first Ramadhan back home after 11 years being in KL. Gosh i miss all those delish foods as KK's bazaars are not as big and wide selection as Selangor/KL.

Insyaallah memandangkan Ramadhan i will need to cut down on my gym sessions to substitute it with terawih prayers.

On another note, yesterday i was googling away and i found out that my beloved Malaysian athlete, my dearest most skillful and manis football keeper of Harimau Malaya, Khairul Fahmi had officially announced that he broke his engagement ties with his fiancee, after few days of being engaged.

Rumors were rife that a day after their engagement, certain bloggers accused him, known as Apex to be going around town with another girl, even holding hands. Not helping the fact later his fiancee posted a 'aku-berserah-pasrah' kinda poem in her blog.

I guess thats the downside of being famous. If you ask me, i might be wrong here but who is stupid enough to walk holding hands with another girl a day after engagement in broad daylight, knowing the fact that he is everyone attention everywhere he goes? I think this is more of people being jealous of their relationship i guess. And there were accusation about him buying a car for his adik angkat, which he then officially declared that it was his sister's car, not his that was disputed and that he was using.

I know half of the crowd would agree that they should be together and another half are not agreeable due to the fact that his ex fiancee wrote every single detail about him in her blog and some even labelled her WAG-wannabe.

At the end of the day, i guess we as bloggers should actually think first before writing something that might damage other people's relationship. I am not siding Apex here ok, its just dat obviously damage is done.

He may have cheated. He may have not. If the latter were the truth, siapa yang menabur fitnah kat blog2 dorang tu memang kompom tiket first class ke neraka beb!!!

With fiancee or without, i still adore u KFCM. Be strong, as whatever bad things that god throws you, there must be a better good coming and hikmahnya disebalik whatever shit that has happened.

Be strong, maybe both of you were meant for someone much better suited. Insya allah.

(Inilah juga diatara satu sebab kenapa aku tak percaya pada pertunangan, seram weii darah manis... seperti kes diatas.. free2 je putus! kesian, my sorry for both of them and god bless!)

Islamic Posts for Ex Partay Animals : Solat Terawikh for women

2011-07-28T14:08:00.005+08:00

(Blogger's note: Diharap uolss tidak terkejut beruk mahupun pengsan when i start to post religious information sejak akhir2 ni. I know, its sooo not me, i do not mean to preach at all, its just that sejak akhir2 ni ada keinginan nak menambah ilmu agama yang masih cetek. So to beginners who are also in the same boat as i am, change cannot be done overnite. Tak perlu berubah terus, kita belajar, and bila ada keinginan, nak adapt, teruskanlah. If not, mungkin bukan masanya lagi. Never force yourself or someone to change. It will come naturally, slowly and in stages. So hope these infos are not a bore to all of my pious/alim readers ya. Give us ex-party animals a chance.*wink*)

Ramadhan is just a breath away..

For yang baru nak belajar2 tambahkan ilmu agama cikit2 macam i ni... terasa nak terawikh di bulan Ramadhan ni di masjid. Because at first, i now felt ruginya all these years tak pegi solat terawikh kat masjid kan..

However, i stumbled into this very informative post on Solat Terawikh untuk Wanita. As we all know, kalau pegi solat jemaah terawikh di masjid beramai2 kan besar pahalanya? However now i know that although men amat digalakkan untuk pergi ke masjid, women are preferred to solat di rumah seperti yang telah disabdakan Rasullullah s.a.w seperti yang tertera dibawah:

Solat seorang wanita yang dikerjakan di rumahnya lebih baik daripada solatnya yang dikerjakan di Masjidil Haram dan Masjid Nabawi. Padahal, seseorang yang mengerjakan solat di Masjidil Haram akan memperolehi pahala 100 000 kali ganda dan di Masjidin Nabawi 50 000 kali ganda. Dalam sebuah hadith diceritakan mengenai seorang sahabiyah, Ummu Sa’adah r.anha yang datang menemui Rasulullah SAW dan berkata, “Ya Rasulullah, saya ingin melaksanakan solat denganmu secara berjemaah di masjid.” Rasulullah SAW bersabda, “Saya mengetahui betapa engkau berkeinginan untuk melaksanakan solat di belakangku dengan berjemaah, akan tetapi apabila engkau melaksanakan solat di bahagian yang paling dalam di dalam rumahmu adalah lebih baik daripada mengerjakannya di dalam rumahmu, mengerjakan solat di dalam rumahmu lebih baik daripada mengerjakannya di perkarangan rumahmu, mengerjakan solat di perkarangan rumahmu lebih baik daripada mengerjakannya di masjid tetanggamu, (masjid yang berdekatan dengan rumahnya) dan mengerjakan solat di masjid tetanggamu lebih baik daripada datang ke masjidku.” (Musnad Ahmad).

Urwah r.a. meriwayatkan kata-kata daripada Saidatina Aisyah r.anha sebagai berikut, “Wanita-wanita Bani Israil membuat sandal yang diperbuat dari kayu yang mereka pakai ke tempat-tempat ibadah mereka, dan mereka senantiasa menarik perhatian laki-laki, oleh karena itu Allah melarang mereka pergi ke sinagog (tempat ibadah orang Yahudi).” (Musnad Abdur Razzaq)

Dalam athar yang lain, Saidatina Aisyah r.anha berkata, “Jika Rasulullah SAW melihat tingkah laku kaum wanita setelah baginda wafat, nescaya baginda akan melarang mereka datang ke masjid sebagaimana wanita-wanita Bani Israil.”

Cara mengerjakan solat tarawih sebenarnya mudah saja. Ia dilakukan dengan setiap dua rakaat satu salam. Selepas membaca bacaan wajib iaitu Fatihah, sunat membaca sebarang ayat atau surah daripada Al-Qur’an, tidak kira pendek atau panjang, atau berulang-ulang, asalkan bacaan itu betul dan solat ini dibuat dengan cermat. Tidak ada hadis Nabi SAW tentang bacaan surah ini. Segala bacaan di luar solat, seperti salawat, doa dan periwayatan khalifah tidak termasuk amalan solat tarawih, tetapi hanya selingan antara solat. Tidak ada larangan untuk bersalawat atau berdoa, jika cara dan adab melakukannya baik. Ia juga tidak menjejaskan solat tarawih jika ditinggalkan.

Walau bagaimanapun, Rasulullah SAW tidak melarang para wanita pergi ke masjid seperti untuk menuntut ilmu fardu ain, atau wanita-wanita tua yang sudah kurang urusan di rumahnya. Bagi kaum ibu pula, pastikan urusan rumah telah beres dan anak-anak yang ditinggalkan pula selamat. Paling penting, kehendak keluarga tidak diabaikan sebelum ke masjid.

At the end of the day, we understand that what Islam seeks is 'Kesederhanaan' and 'Balance' whereby tak guna juga kalau sembahyang terawikh 20 rakaat tiap malam tapi kesemua keperluan keluarga terabai.

Worrdd.... jom kita pegi terawikh sama-sama??? :D

My Two-Cents on Animal Abusers.

2011-07-28T11:58:00.002+08:00

So, yesterday i saw in the news that the infamous Serdang cat abuser @Xiao Fei was fined RM400 for stomping a kitten and killing its mothercat too. My honest feeling? I feel like making her as my punching bag at my muay thai class!

I don't honestly think RM400 would inflict any affect to this moron or to all animals abusers out there. One thing that can really turn my day into black if i see animals being run down or abused.

Please lah, humans have brains. Animals are not as perfect as humans. Must you be that belligerent towards harmless animals? I have seen kittens or pups or even birds who stand at their loved-oned carcasses on the road, not knowing what to do after being run down by stupid mobiles. How if you are in the same situation?

I think its about time that Malaysia should impose a stricter law against animal abusers since Malaysians still tend to be quite stupid in handling animals with care. I need to lobby for a stricter law. RM400 is sooooo not sufficient. I propose , instead of fine, why not we inflict pain on the abusers? Let them feel how pain feels. Maybe caning should be proper as a whack of prison's cane will leave a mark on your buttocks, as a reminder of what you have done. Or maybe we should just drown these people in the sea.

I love animals. Irregardless the fact that i am a muslim, i love dogs too. For me they have sad eyes. Im soo used to giving all the neighbours/ stray dogs outside my house compound food to eat that previously dogs kept on giving birth at my gate. They are living beings, damnnit.

Now i miss my cats badly!!! :(

My Blog.

2011-07-21T10:08:00.002+08:00

I had a conversation with a couple of my friends few nights ago and one was talking about how she used to read my blog and learned new term such as 'Kriptonite'(Kriptonite in my vocab means a bastard/love/ex that u truly loved or wud die for although hes a bastard/bitch) etc..

So the other one asked me, do i have a blog? What it is all about?

It made me thinking before i finally managed to answer her question. Well, like other bloggers, they are bound to certain genre such as politics, information, gossips, family, fashion, travel or life itself.

At first i don't know how to answer her coz when to think of it, my blog throughout the years consists of the following (all in seasonal order from the day this blog breathe the air of the internet):

a) Parties

b) More Parties

c) Depression

d) Men and their antics

e) My pissed off rants against certain individuals

f) My drop dead honest truth view on certain hot matters ( rants on hyporcrites, infidelity, black magic etc..)

g) Workout, Weight loss and weight gain

f) Work

g) My son

h) Religious stuffs (new)

g) Any other matters that ticks me off.

At the end of the day, i have to agree on what some of my dear readers commented on my blog, that ive always being blunt true and raw. I don't cover-cover or write sweetly when things are not sweet. I find blogging therapeutic. I will write whatever i currently feel and if i don't think its suitable for people to know, i don't write at all on certain matters.

I DON'T have money nor properties to show off in my blog. I DON'T buy thousands and thousands of expensive stuffs to show off with their price tags in my blog. I DON'T have taitai life of having to leisure without problems daily. I do have to work my ass off for myself. I don't have a perfect married life which i can portray to the whole world, as i am , a single mother with a son, with loads of complicated issues surrounding me. I even have to deal with fucked up situations sometimes but thank the lord i manage to survive all.

At the end of the day, what i can show off or tell through my blog is my struggle to overcome all my problems.

I loveee reading other people's blogs by the way. All each of us are totally different and how we take on things are also different. I am happy to those who are always soo cheerful and in a blissful life. I am sorry and also feel for bloggers who have to deal with problems especially the emotional ones.

At the end of the day, its what you write. I also believe that when we write, we will see a clearer picture of most things eventually.

Ok, got to go. Dear readers, thank you for reading my blog all these years. Love you muah!

Fat-Ass Project : Weight Loss Update.

2011-07-18T15:26:00.004+08:00

Dah lama tak update pasal my weight loss project kan?

Ok, the following are my current regime that i have been sticking to it:

Workout- 2 hours of gym classes after work consist of Bodycombat, bodypump, body attack and/ or hip hop class. Now just enrolled in Muay Thai classes too. 4-5 days a week. If possible, make it 6 days a week if not busy. If i go on Saturdays, i'll make it 3 classes/ 3 hours.

Food intake- Cut my rice portion into 1 scoop only, and try to minimise eating rice. I still eat fast food when i crave but i substitute it by not eating dinner or anything heavy after that. I eat small portion of junks, if i crave. I believe the more you abstain, the more you are going to binge. Eat more fruits. Drink loadsss of water. Cut off coke as much as i can whenever possible.

Sleep- at least 8 hours. I go to sleep super early nowdays. As early as 9.45pm-10.00pm

Supplement: Currently am not taking supplements such as Duromine or etc.. not even protein shakes.

Previous clothes size:16-18 UK. Now: 10/12-14 UK

Target- Size 8-10 UK.

Compare as follows:

Dulu... few months back.....
Me, few months back, before i joined the gym. Muka puffy gile kan? Dont get me started on my hugeeee hips!! I was trying to conceal my huge arms in this pic....

Me with my bestfren dari kecik... this was taken early this year, during my bff's wedding. Muka i macam dipam2 kan? Dannngg.... pipi tak henggat... kalah Enot ni.....

Now.....
Belum slim lagi, cuma ada kurang la for me. Still a long way to go but alhamdulillah ada progress. I need to fire up my cardio!

Since i hantoo Bodypump, this is the effect of frequent pumping irons, kindly look at my arms in the following picture:

Untuk most women dorang tak suka kot Bodypump coz it consist of resistance training of weight training,but i just lovee it. And in order for your biceps and triceps to shape, you need to push yourself carry different and heavier weights within few weeks in order to give impact on your muscles.

Susah kalau ada badan frame and tulang besar macam i ni. Selalu feel conscious gile ok, coz trasa macam giant pon ada. So i really need to work out to get the athletic look instead. Kurus kering tak nak la coz im not into that waif-Kate-Moss look. More of Khloe Kardashian look kot...

I hope in few months time i'll be slimmer. Current setbacks is kengkadang busy so tak sempat ke gym or too tired to go and my obsessions towards Kentaki and Burger King..sigh... Kena. Be. Strong!!

Ok dearies. Gtg, i'll update on my weight loss again soon ya.. Let pump it up!!

Fashion Show ended with camwhoring session.

2011-07-18T09:23:00.005+08:00

Actually last Thursday i was invited for a fashion show of one of Sabah's talented designers of A'Sutra at Pan Pacific Sutera Harbour.

Enjoyed the moment looking at the fab designs however i was happy to meet some of my dear old friends since high school..

I ended up wearing a short pink cocktail dress to complement the pink 5 inch heels that i bought from New York, that i rarely wear due to its height and colour/ pattern. Something that i can't wear to work!

Okay i guess pictures speaks louder than words...

Yours truly, make up and hair by myself, since i went to the wrong salon so end up buat rambut sendiri jugak. Nasib baik sempat...

Marcell was the invited artist for the night and i was hoping for him to sing wither 'Firasat' or 'Semusim' tapi he sang all his new songs instead..

Me, at the red carpet, with my usual Trademark Pose. :)

My dear friends........

Me and Kak Julz, one of my gym addict buddies..

Quarter of the selection that was presented that night....

Me and Marina, friends since primary school...

With my dearest learned friend, Dana. Very happy to hangout with her again that nite!

Legal Eagles... three lawyers camwhoring... :)

Ok hope you guys have a noice Monday ya.. muah!!!

Malam Nisfu Syaaban

2011-07-17T00:34:00.002+08:00

Good nite to all my fellow readers...

Well, as i just found out few hours ago (thank goodness to BBM messages given by my dear friends), tonite or 15th Sya'aban / 17th July 2011 is malam Nisfu Syaaban, a special nite untuk panjatkan doa kepada Allah..

Me, yang baru berjinak2 nak lebih mendalami agama, got the following about Nisfu Syaaban for those who don't know or dont understand what nisfu syaaban is. At least now you know.. tak salah tahu kan? Tak kisah la nak take this opportunity to lebihkan ibadat malam ni or baca je but at least you know... heres some infos on it:

Nisfu Syaaban

Nisfu dalam bahasa arab bererti setengah. Nisfu Syaaban bererti setengah bulan Syaaban.

Malam Nisfu Syaaban merupakan malam yang penuh berkat dan rahmat selepas malam Lailatul qadr. Saiyidatina Aisyah r.a. meriwayatkan bahawa Nabi saw tidak tidur pada malam itu sebagaimana yg tersebut dalam sebuah hadis yg diriwayatkan oleh Imam Al-Baihaqi r.a.:

Rasulullah saw telah bangun pada malam (Nisfu Syaaban) dan bersembahyang dan sungguh lama sujudnya sehingga aku fikir beliau telah wafat. Apabila aku melihat demikian aku mencuit ibu jari kaki Baginda saw dan bergerak. Kemudian aku kembali dan aku dengar Baginda saw berkata dlm sujudnya, “Ya Allah aku pohonkan kemaafanMu daripada apa yg akan diturunkan dan aku pohonkan keredhaanMu daripada kemurkaanMu dan aku berlindung kpdMu daripadaMu. Aku tidak dpt menghitung pujian terhadapMu seperti kamu memuji diriMu sendiri.”

Setelah Baginda saw selesai sembahyang, Baginda berkata kpd Saiyidatina Aisyah r.a. “Malam ini adalan malam Nisfu syaaban. Sesungguhnya Allah Azzawajjala telah dtg kpd hambanya pada malam Nisfu syaaban dan memberi keampunan kpd mereka yg beristighfar, memberi rahmat ke atas mereka yg memberi rahmat dan melambatkan rahmat dan keampunan terhadap orang2 yg dengki.”

Hari nisfu sya’aban adalah hari dimana buku catatan amalan kita selama setahun diangkat ke langit dan diganti dengan buku catatan yang baru. Catatan pertama yang akan dicatatkan dibuku yang baru akan bermula sebaik sahaja masuk waktu maghrib, (15 Sya’aban bermula pada 14 hb sya’aban sebaik sahaja masuk maghrib).

However i have read from the internet that amalan-amalan yang bukan datangnya dari sunnah nabi sendiri seperti membaca yassin 3 kali dan sembahyang sunat pada waktu malam nifsu syaaban dan mengagung agungkan malam ini seperti malam Lailaturqadar adalah bid'ah (salah) disisi Islam oleh kerana ia bukan datangnya dari jumhur ulama (means approved official practices by ulamas).

Oleh yang demikian, tidak perlulah kita terlalu taksub akan malam ini dengan membandingkannya dengan LailaturQadar, tetapi kalau hati tergerak untuk beramal lebih pada malam ini, apa salahnya kan? Allah senantiasa mendengar, i always believe in that..

Don't get me wrong everyone when you guys read my current blog posts..which ranges from partying to now, religious matters. I'm not trying to be super pious here, its just that i'm giving info to all of u as i am also learning new stuffs nowdays. Tak salah kita tambah ilmu2 sebegini...

Okies, i wanna go watch dvd.. love, hugs and kisses from me, Muahs.

Melayu Mudah Lupa.

2011-07-11T15:03:00.002+08:00

Today, i am going to rant, whether you like it or not.

So, 9th July has passed and did they actually had a 'peaceful' rally that they wanted? When i saw the news report i feel like someone had poked both of my eyes with a fork.

Hello, so, akhirnya we are now in foreign news-NYTimes, CNN and god knows what. I understand if you want to rally for a clean and fair elections, but whats with the 'Reformasi' rants? Furthermore, as much as you support and love whichever political party or politician that you adore, can you not be friggin selfish and tag kids and babies along? For what, for human shield??? Friggin idiots to endanger kids and especially welfare kids who don't know a thing just to ensure that you will be safe from being picked up by polices. Do you have any idea how dangerous it would be if there were a stampede? I bet that if something were to go wrong the kids kena pijak free2 je!!

Economy going down the drain. Tourist turned off by the situation. Sooner or later this is going to affect us all.

I believe that all the university students who joined the rally should be kicked out from uni and those who are on government scholarships should be be stripped off their financial aids as they are all pure Hypocrites. I mean, you don't like the government but you are enjoying the facilities- scholarships, bumiputera privileges, common amenities such as highways and skycrapers. Tak mengenang budi langsung. Bollocks!!!

Listen, Malaysia ranks one of the cheapest petrol prices in Asia and if you wanna start complaining about taxes, do you know other foreign countries the people pays more that 40% taxes to their government??

Dulu Tun M buat KLCC, korang cakap such a waste of money. Now? Kebanggaan kita. KLIA- most used to call Tun M moron for building such a huge airport. Now?? Such a convenience for us.

Don't you people watch international news? In other foreign countries where when there is turmoil, it is bound to be more dangerous as the time goes by. This shall be applicable to Malaysia now too. Ive always been thankful that our country has been sooo peaceful... until now.

Paling aku tak tahan, tengok semua yang pegi rally- Melayu. Against Melayu. Dalang kat tepi gelak2 tepuk tangan coz Malay semakin pincang. Is this what you guys really want??

I have nothing against other political parties however please don't be selfish and create havoc in this country.

Malays should instead strive to be better and stronger however i don't believe that Malays are going to prosper with soo many firestarters and stabbers around. Jangan pasal nak jadikan some figure as PM uolss nak jahanamkan our peace ok, not cool not cool!!

If Malaysia going into chaos again soon im going to blame all of u people who went to the rally!!

Morons with no compassion.

2011-07-04T16:47:00.002+08:00

One of my weakness, is, i have a very soft spot for animals, as they are just wonderful little things who can't defend themselves against human.

I know myself, that my day can turn really, really BLACK if i were to came across an abused/ run-down animal and i can immediately be pissed and teary-eyed.

So yesterday when i came home from the mall, i saw a dog was lying in front of one of my neighbour's gate . .. i repeat, in front of neighbour's gate.. so i tot that he was just lying down sleeping so i went inside my house and thought nothing about it.

Then, later in the evening my auntie dropped by and as i was closing my gate, i can see the dog from far away, that it is still lying the same way.. unmoved.. hmmm so i rasa tak sedap hati..

i walked to the dog and realised it wasnt breathing and i was pissed. Before this there were cats run down by bloody friggin morons who cant drive slowly at residence area, and most of the time, my dad or my maid, who have soft spots for animals just like me, end up burying the carcass at the back of our garden. Till this date, i can officially say my back garden is an unmarked pet cemeteries for all the animal who died due to the stupid f!@@$E@ cars.

So, back to the story, i went to the dog, it was dead already. I was so sad, and i saw the owner of the house owner of the gate that he lied lifelessly and went to the house and asked the family whether, is it their dog , and do they realized that there was a dead dog in front of their house?

They should thank their lucky stars that i did not had a Bitch Fit when they answered that they do not have a dog and yes that dog is isnt theirs and ITS HARD FOR THEM TO DRIVE OUT THEIR CAR LATER AS THE DOG WAS SOMEWHERE IN FRONT OF THEIR GATE.

!@#!rq#tr%w$y^$ee#$qw^w$^&%e* they had the cheek to say that and asked me to call the municipal instead and complaint to get them to take the body away! I mean, i am a Muslim, and you're the non muslim here,and u ask me to do something??!! As i was almost turning green into a hulk, my son came and i hold myself from dropping the F Bomb.

I left and went to my son, who was at the body and looking at it. I asked my son "So, what should we do? they just ignore this dog!" My eight year old son then, looking sadly at the dog and said "why not we pickup this dog and do what abah and wawi (my ex maid) always do- lets bury him somewhere..." as both of us were discussing, my mum called us back and she even went to the other neighbour who was a non muslim family too, however they also ignored and couldn't care less (tak guna tau kalau tiap minggu family kau panggil orang church datang rumah preach and preach and have prayers kalau animals pun kau buat bodoh malas nak tolong!!!)

Then i remembered that a friend of my brother is the President of SPCA and called my bro to ask him to call the SPCA and request for them to call the municipal to collect the body.. and he helped.

Ikutkan hati i nak angkat tapi i nak tanam kat mana? And the dog is big if i were to move it takut darah semua keluar pulak. I dont mind actually tapi my dad was against it as it was already tengah malam, nak hujan, and the dog was not near our house. Pagi ni end up hujan kuat tak berenti, sampai nak menitik airmata i tengok anjing tu still there...

I hope, by the time i went back home, the body is no longer there or i am soooo gonnnaaa turn into an Incredible Hulk!!!

I hate animal abusers/stupid drivers who run down animals. F!@#$#q%#q% RETARDED!!

Kempunan ke Masjid.

2011-06-28T13:48:00.003+08:00

I admit... these few months, macam ada something different melanda i..

I admit that i am currently trying to be closer to God slowly to find peace, walaupun i banyak lagi kekurangan jelas dan nyata seperti rambut masih blonde, baju masih sendat dan kain yang kurang. But i'm taking baby steps so that i won't be a culture shock to new, better and improved me. I know changes needs time so i'm giving myself time to slowly do good things more.. Im slowly finding my inner peace and trying to be better insya allah...

Semalam i balik rumah awal, tak ke gym coz my mum was unwell, and bila sampai rumah i terdetik nak gi masjid kat nearby my house, which is like, 5 minutes drive. However, looking at my mum tak sihat i stayed and lepak rumah...

Tapi lepas dinner with family, i tergerak lagi naakkkk sangat gi masjid tu i pun tak paham nape. So i looked at my watch, and it was almost 8.30pm, and in KK isyak is at 7 plus (1 hour earlier than KL)..

So, i pikir, what the heck, kat masjid tu kompom ada orang ngaji2 ada tok imam at least, so takyah nak takut ( i feel a lil creepy coz masjid tu besar tapi located kat tepi hutan and area gelapp takde housing sangat), so i mandi siap2 and bawak buku doa fav i and duit sikit (niat nak masukkan kat tabung masjid) and told my parents i nak gi masjid. (mak i yang tengah not well tu terus boleh terbangun, terkejut agaknya with the idea, coming from ME kekekek) and drove to the masjid..

Dalam hati i on d way doa- "Plsss laa ada orang pllsss laa ada orang" coz driving to the masjid pun dah gelap and takde kereta sangat...

Kecewa betul bila i sampai masjid, coz takde orang langsung.. i terpikir nak turun tapi bila i round masjid tu takde satu manusia pon! And the fact that ive realised keliling masjid tu banyak gila pokok pisang, mulaalahhh otak i rewind cite sundel bolong bagai.. i waited for 10 minutes and there was not a single soul there...kecewa betul..

With heavy heart, i drove back home and solat kat bilik je macam biasa. Part of me rasa bersalah coz dah berniat nak solat sana kan, tapi i risau kang i sujud bila bangun tetibe dari sorang ada ramai keliling i, mau demam i!! (ok ok imaginasi i kuat pasal i kuat tengok movie.)

I can feel that God was dissapointed at me. Masjid kan rumah Allah, whats the worst that could happen kan? But i also remembered ustaz cakap kat masjid pon kadang2 boleh ada jin.. Erkkk.. ok enough with the creepy ideas.

I failed. So, moral of the story? Kalo nak solat kat masjid, silalah sila pegi masa nak masuk waktu ye murid2.. jangan nak pegi bila orang dah balik umah tengok tv nak tido.. lainlah kalo Ramadhan..

Sighh....harap pasni bole selalu gi semayang kat masjid. I dont know why, i just teringin nak sujud kat lantai masjid. Pelikkah i? I dont think so.. (although ramai kawan i dengar niat ni, coming from ME yang tak berapa nak alim ni, dorang semua cakap dunia nak kiamat la, i nak meninggal laa.. waaadeeverr!!)

I stand with my favourite motto- I couldn't care less about what people wanna say coz, Ignorance is Bliss~ hehehehe Daaaa!

Sexxxy Clothes..

2011-06-23T10:13:00.003+08:00

Hmmm.. i am now contemplating..

Since i dropped by my KL house last weekend, ive realised that i have sooo much clothes, especially party clothes yang memang i tak pakai..not forgetting baju2 zaman kuat2 party dulu yang sexxay mexxay tak cukup kain..Tak silap i ada banyak:

a) Mini dresses

b) mini skirts

c) tops

d) leopard dresses/tops

So im wondering whether i shud sell it all online kan? since kalau tak pakai or sell it at the end in the future akan terbuang all those clothes...

Hmm should i then, ermm sell all the clothes that i dont need anymore? There are some that i've even wore once or twice only...

If i were to sell all my pre-loved clothes online, ada orang nak beli ke?? Jual murah2 dah as long as can clear up all the space in my KL Room....hmmm.. need to raid the whole wardrobe laa macam ni... I'll let you guys know once i've decided. What do you guys think??

Extremely Tired.

2011-06-21T10:00:00.004+08:00

I am very, very tired, physically.

Last weekend was pretty hectic and it was a damn long day yesterday.

I flew to KL on Friday midnite and went back Sunday midnite for Amin's wedding and catching up sessions with loved ones for a short day. And flight was delayed, end up reaching home before 2am. Since i don't have annual leaves yet, i went to work yesterday supersleepy and tired and instead of going home straight after work, i headed to the gym as i was worried of myself since last week i didnt workout that much due to busyness.

There are no such thing as tired for gym ya.

So went for gym for 2 hours sessions and had to meet my bff for coffee for a while before i finally reach home at 10pm. I could barely do anything after that.

And i woke up late this morning. Superlate!!! Ive never been that late in waking up for work before! Soooo sleepy i guess that i didn't realize that i switched off my alarm n went back to sleep. Daymmnn...

One thing im sure off is the fact that if you workout before you sleep you will definitely sleep soundly after that..

By the way, i don't have much time to update more so i shall just leave u guys with pictures of me and my gym buddies camwhoring at the gym. Hehe.

I shall update you guys with more important stuffs tomorrow or later of today if i have the time ya..

The group X team. We kick ass EVERYDAY.

Me testing my Muai Thai. Heheh..Lets sparing, anyone??

My combat and pump classes made me fit into this dress. Hard work does pay off!!

I have to admit bodypump makes your arms-biceps/triceps slightly bigger. Isnt it obvious that my hands are popping out from this dress? But i dont mind.. i dont mind.. as long as its not flabby im ok!!

Alright i gtg, more important insights to be updated in a jiffy! Stay tuned. Love, FH.

Protection for Sleeping Beauties.

2011-06-15T14:20:00.003+08:00

Heya friends,

I just wanna share something that I have just learned and applied in my daily life.

As most of my avid readers would have known through my previous posts, that i've been experiencing disturbed sleeps at night, selalu terjaga tengah2 malam and even nightmares, i have finally found the solution yang i dah amalkan lebih seminggu, and alhamdulillah, it works!!

Its just plain simple, after talks with my Ustaz, he recommended me to ambil air wudhu' dan tidur dalam air wudhu' every night untuk mengelakkan sebarang gangguan, iaitu gangguan kebetulan mahupun dihantar Syaitonirojimz.

So, i dah start amalkan solat sebelum tido so that i won't forget ( i always solat isyak lewat coz sampe rumah pon dah lambat after gym. So might as well pray before i go to bed)..

Alhamdulillah, tidur dengan air wudhu amatlah mententeramkan dan i don't have problems of rude awakenings at night or all those weird funny dreams bila tido dengan air wudhu'. So i found the following on the net about mengambil air wudhu sebelum tido, khasiatnya dan insights on it:

Berwuduk sebelum tidur
Sihir tidak akan memberi sebarang kesan terhadap seseorang muslim yang mempunyai wuduk. Setiap muslim yang berwuduk akan sentiasa dikawal ketat oleh para Malaikat sebagaimana diperintahkan oleh Allah S.W.T kepada mereka.

Sabda Rasulullah S.A.W: Ertinya: "Sucikanlah jasad-jasad ini mudah-mudahan Allah akan menyucikan kamu. Kerana sesungguhnya tiada seorang pun dari mereka yang bersuci terlebih dahulu sebelum tidur, melainkan ada bersamanya seorang Malaikat. Malaikat tersebut tidak akan pernah terlalai walaupun sedetik untuk mengucapkan doa: 'Ya Allah!Ampunilah dosa hambaMu ini kerana dia telah tidur dalam keadaan bersuci.'(Riwayat at Tabraaniy dgn sanad yang baik.)

Can you imagine every night going to sleep, protected by para Malaikat?? Kalau orang nak dajal macam2 cara pon insya allah tak lut.

I have my peaceful sleep nowdays. Alhamdulillah. Try it if u have problems or better, even if u dont have problem with sleeping, just amalkan untuk kebaikan sendiri. Like i always believe, Prevention is better than cure.

Okay gtg tooodleesss....

Seth.Tan

2011-06-09T15:51:00.002+08:00

Confession of the day: Im addicted to Nora.Elena!!!

I don't normally watch malay movies however one day i came home early from work and i was surfing channels and i tumbled into Tv3's Nora.Elena and ive been hooked since!!

Seth.Tan... serioussly. Cerita ni membuatkan orang fantasize of that kind of man of which i dont think exist. Dah la maanisss, baik, with great career and also such a gentlemen with no crappy attitude.

OMG seriously Seth Tan you made me and all the makcik2 out there crazy watching you on tv daily from 7pm-8pm.

I have to resist myself from watching it because i reach home quite late almost daily. However i found that You.Tube does have the series recorded. Arrgghhhh

Seriously, Seth.Tan, stop being such a charming gentle mannisssssss man pls..... sighhhhhhh

Seth.Tan has taken over the world by storm!!!

I need to stop watching all these dramas asap!! sighhh

Muah Seth.Tan!! hehe

Pekung di Dada....

2011-06-05T23:09:00.002+08:00

Today, i've decided to not go out at all, and just sit back and relax at home after spending whole day outing yesterday with my dearest son.

I even skipped gym today. I end up watching Nur.Kasih the series on you.tube since i watched the movie, and end up being a crybaby at the movies (thank god i went to watch the movie alone during long lunch break on one friday, and tak sampai 5 minit tengok movie tu dah sedih gila ok?! dayymmmmm i dont normally turn teary-eyed on malay..eh ESPECIALLY malay movies) So, since i've never watched the series that played on tv, i went on youtube and here i am, since 2pm until now, 11pm, tak habis2 lagi, so i decided to take a break from series Nur.Kasih to update my blog first.

I felt different these few days. I started to think differently after meeting up with few ustaz who came as guest to my house a couple of days ago, after few things that had happened recently.....And also maybe cikit juga after watching Nur.Kasih...

"You may have left Islam, but Islam will never leave you......"

I've realised.... betapa kurangnya I ni...sembahyang 5 waktu tak pernah lengkap coz sembahyang Subuh liat nak bangun.. solat Isyak kengkadang kalau penat sangat balik dari gym.. tertinggal... mengaji? Once in a bluemoon..baca yassin malam jumaat?? sebulan sekali kot...kalau dipikirkan dosa2 dulu.. lagilah tak tau nak cakap macamana.. tak terpikul bahu ni..Zaman dulu2, bila problem je, instead mintak kat tuhan, redha, cara2 bodoh I lepaskan kekecewaan I..

I admit sejak hujung tahun last year I cuba berubah, to become a better person, cuba lengkapkan solat, cuba berenti minum, cuba lebihkan puasa sunat.. i admit tak mudah untuk someone as damaged as me to change overnite. Ada sekali sekala bila terlalu sedih atau masalah terlalu berat untuk dipikul, I lapsed balik minum, tertinggal solat..hmmmm

Now i've realised betapa kurangnya I ni as a person, kalau kerja ok, keluarga ok, kesihatan ok, tapi ibadat tak complete??? Macam cacat kan??? Dat is how i feel now.. Cacat. Incompetent. Kekurangan.

Padahal, setakat ni segala apa yang berlaku in my life god have blessed me in many ways. I used to hate unexpected things that happened to me, but now baru I sedar, it all makes sense now. Setiap apa yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Macam2 hikmah dah tuhan bagi kat I..however I am still not what you can call an obedient muslimah.

I don't know what plans god have for me. But i hope as time goes by, i will have the strength to change to become a much better person, insya allah.

And i hope, through time, segala 'kekurangan' yang ada pada i sekarang ni akan berubah, dan semoga god give me ample time to make things right before I go.Insya allah.

Regally Blonde.

2011-06-01T14:09:00.003+08:00

Happy Harvest Festival to my fellow Kadazan friends.

I had a long weekend last week as it was a 2-day public holidays (Mon/Tues) and I spent the time with going to the gym and lounging around with my son and went out for movies and food with him.

At the same time, since I was really itchy in looking at my darkening tresses, i feel that it is time to recolour my hair as i can see my face darkening with the black hair coming out of my face. Dont get me wrong, i loveeeee black hair and i wish i can have long black hair like Kim K. Unfortunately since i have a kinda big features on my face and my skintone is dark tanned, i dont think that black hair complements me as i am not fair enough like my other malay friends who look lovely with black hair.

So, lazy to go to the saloon, i retouched my own hair.. and voila! back to blondie!!

Seriously, i can't stand bad hair. Its one of my biggest pet peeves. Rambut kena perfect y'all. Alrighty then, ive got to go. Tooodless!!

Forever Bastard.

2011-05-27T09:02:00.002+08:00

I used to be very positive about humans whereby i do think that people will, through time, change for the better, regardless how bad or moronic they are.

Well, i am proven to be DAMN wrong about this.

Some people would just never ever change for the better. Instead, they do get worse!!

To much dismay, I've been approached again and again by ladies who are strangers to me but knew me 'well', due to the kisah-sedih-kesah-simpati-tak-cukup-kasih-sayang-im-the-bitch stories that unfortunately, up until TODAY (which is like, years after my divorce) my ex huby still uses to attract babes and cheat on them.

Latest, i have been approached by a babe, and thankfully she is well-mannered and civillized that i end up feeling sorry for her and hope for the better for her as she came looking for me, to tell her story of how she is scorned by my ex, like many others.

That is not the worst part, i wondered how she knew me and my full name and she told me that my huge moron ex used to tell her stories about me, especially in the negative light and the babe even apologized to me , for having such negative thoughts all these while when they were together.

Mind you, this is not the first person who have called me and asks me things. At least this latest babe was nice and educated enough to be civillized and talk appropriately with me.

Previously there were skanks who, called me up and blow their fury, at me, after the divorce until today and also even when i WAS STILL THE WIFE (pompuan zaman sekarang memang ramai yg jahanam mcm ni), pastu boleh siap marah2 i (padahal aku yang bini ni ok) and only god knows, how i've gone thru that moments.

Its been years, to the extend that i've overcome my sadness and to the extend that i even thought of forgiving all his sins to me, to make his life easier in the afterworld, since thanks to god, im a much happier being now, being independent with all my loved ones and met a whole lotta nice men throughout the years.

But, looking at these circumstances, i think he's either cannot let it go or is just still too immature to shut his bloody mouth and act appropriately like a 30 year old.

(Tu sebab aku cakap lelaki ni, selagi tak berumur takkan puas enjoy and think like a real man!)

Tak habis2 sampai ke hari ni nak bagitau stranger who his ex wife is, who is she, what she allegedly did to him, etc. My god, mulut kalah perempuan, ok??!! Even i don't talk or even mention about him to my guy friends!! Seriousss attention seeker.

I shall not go down to his standard by airing his dirty laundry in my blog coz i sampai dah ke tahap kesian la kat dia. Seriously, kesian kau kan? At the end of the day, kau tak jadi kawin pun ngan betina separuh nyawa kau tu kan? putus gak? pastu kau nak gi jaja nama aku keliling kl kan utk dapat publisiti murahan kan? Kesian la kau ni..serious. Aku doakan semoga tuhan tu ada lagi hati la nak bagi kau ruang untuk bertaubat. Orang lain pun, at least berskandal sampai ke jinjang pelamin. Kau??

Tu sebab aku cakap jgn main2 ngan sumpah aku. Lantak la apa kau nak cakap pasal aku or apa perempuan2 kau nak buat kat aku, at the end of the day, aku gak yang end up happy and successful.

Kesian. May god have mercy on you.

Fever.

2011-05-25T12:11:00.003+08:00

heya peeps..

been down with fever since Sunday and due to the fact that i had an important meeting yesterday, i went to office with a drag voice, until today my voice still shitty.

by the way nothing much had transpired apart from the fact that after almost 4 months that i've been keeping low and being homely and never went out at night (in order to support my fitness regime, and the fact that most of my kakis are all in kl), last Saturday my Bff Shiqin who was here to see her Itallian bf dropped by and dragged me out of the house to accompany her to drink.

So, finally pe.cah da.ra tak keluar malam 4 bulan and we went to Hyatt-Shennani.gan to lepak2. The party scene here in KK is pretty chillax and less fuss and the atmosphere is not as chaotic as in KL. So i dont have a problem of having an uncontrollable night here in KK. gOOd gooD.

I have also decided to change my lunch diet by buying instant oats, to be mixed with milo, in order to have healthy and less calories lunches to support my weight loss.

See the difference of the pictures below? I hope i'll be able to pull more kgs soon.

Me and the Prince, before i started my daily workout regime. Muka mcm dipam2 kan? Eeee....

Me, last weekend. I still got a long, long way to go. But at least im still motivated. I need to be stronger, leaner, better and hotter!! Must!! Its a pressure to look better and be healthier when you are someone's mom!

Ok i gtg.. will keep you guys updated soonest. Pray for my recovery ya? Muah!

Weight Loss update

2011-05-16T09:50:00.002+08:00

Its been two months that i have enrolled in the gym. However, to be honest here, actually when i first started working out, i didn't actually put on a strict diet coz i thought that my body is still like how it was a couple years back when it only took pure hard exercise to shed those kgs. I was WRONG as after a month of working out and still, eating carbs like normal, i wasn't pushing the limits and the kgs did not went down as fast as i wanted.

Pissed, determined and just friggin fed up, i've decided to step it up. Dah 3 weeks ive been cutting down my food intake by trying to not eat dinners few times a week as my dinners always consist of some rice and lauk and at 9pm as my gym classes normally ends at 8.30pm, so i try as much not to eat dinner if i am not hungry. Thankfully, after workout daily i felt more tired than hungry so it did help a bit. Furthermore, i spend my weekends attending the classes too sometimes up to 3 hours as i have the time to kill and furthermore the classes are fun (hip hop/bodycombat/bodypump).

Apart from that, i went out from my comfort zone of only running on treadmill by using the stairmaster machine now in order to shed those ass. Now im starting to love that machine more than the treadmill!!

Yesterday i managed to get the scale as previously that is the most dreaded thing and i really, really hate scales as i rather see the clothes fit slowly rather than looking at the scales. But i guess now i really need to have some balls to weight myself weekly in order to monitor myself better and more effectively and, in order to win my co's biggest loser competition that i've just joined.

So, last month was the first weight in where i am competing against bosses/staffs from my office and staffs from my subsidiaries companies. To compare from that weight in (Last month) and last nite, i have lost 6kgs- of which for a big build and height like my body, its not that much however i am happy than im losing some already. I am aiming for another 15kgs at least so help me god.

I am more determined than ever. This time i don't want to be slim. I want to be superfit. With all that sexy biceps and triceps and all. I'm not doing this for the competition but im doing this for myself since i love fashion and skimpy clothes soo much so i.really.need.to.be.fit!!

One downside to this, im losing my boobs. Yes, my boobs are getting smaller n smaller. sighhh..

Its not easy being me as most girls are small-frame, petite, tiny and just plain small/normal. I have american size body and height so i need to pull triple effort to pull this off!! I envy you skinny bitches where u can eat all day and chillaxxx!!!

"When she says 'Not really', means 'Yes'."

2011-05-12T12:32:00.000+08:00

My 8 year old Ultraman son managed to teach me a lesson few days ago. A lesson about women, whom he thinks he have mastered the skills of understanding a full-grown woman, and the ability to understand and manipulate women.

Ultraman: Mum, i need to 'teach you' something...

Mommi : What?

Ultraman: You know, next time, when you call home or when you talk to Mama (Ultraman's granny, my mother) and asks her if she wants something or whether you should buy her certain food, if she said "I Dont want" means ok, no need to buy. But....

Mommi: But??

Ultraman: If she says "Takpelah or Its ok", you just buy for her because when she says that it means she wants it.

Mommi : WTH?? How you know?

Ultraman: Because few times when she said "it's ok or takpelah" to you or Atuk, when the food or things arrive, she actually took some. So don't believe when she says 'Its ok , or takpelah". She only mean that she don't want it if she really says ' I don't want it'. Ok?

Mommi : Errr....mmmm (thinking to myself..good lord he's only 8 and already understand the complicated women's language??!!)

Whoever becomes his girlfriend in the future will be soo lucky to have him. Even some mid thirties men dont understand these kind of things.

My son, my sweet-talking,attentive and protective son. Bertuah Betul.

Happening yang pening

2011-05-05T11:47:00.003+08:00

Ive realised that its been almost 2 weeks since ive last updated. Sorry, my bad as i was very busy with travel, work, problems and being not well.

Last 2 weeks i managed to drop by KL for the weekend just for a short trip to meet all my luvlies and darlings however to those yang i tak sempat jumpa, sorry sangat coz i was on a around the clock schedule to meet all friends and it became soo exhaustive i slept thru my flight back to KK all the way. I promise i see you guys on my next trip soon ya??

Meeting up with my darlings was fab. Then i went back to KK. Then don't know why suddenly got sore throat, and then demam2 tiap petang for few days until last weekend. Made me miss the gym few days coz sakit sampai sore neck. Stiff neck, didnt know why. Alhamdulilah with all the koyok that my beloved son tampal all around my neck, it went away.

Then came the spontaneous buying of BB Torch, as my BB (which is barely a year old) decided to just die. Was pissed , didnt talk much, dragged my son to the shop and get myself a torch. Then at the shop i almost died and burn a huge hole in my wallet as the BB Playbook is already in store and costing me another 2k if i want it. Maybe i shud leave it for my birthday wish.

Then with the sore neck and stuff, ive lost my watch today. And not denying the fact that im having a bad hair day too today. Didnt curl my hair so it looked sooooooooo rosak.

Hmmm oh ya, been addicted to tumblr. can't stop reposting all the lovely and funny pics.

As much as i hate it, finally managed to clear my taxes ON THE LAST DAY. hell yeah!!

Ok i need to go. I'll update again!!

Penyakit Baru.

2011-04-20T11:24:00.003+08:00

Dear all,

I have a confession. I have a new sickness of which i can't control myself from..... tumblr-ing or whatever you guys call it. Tum/blr has already taken over my life and i just can't stop reposting moronic things and all those hilarious, and also sexy pictures that i have found.

When you have a bad day, just visit my tumblr.com page as per listed in the following picture and laugh awayyyyy........

This is all because of Maria Ashiqin. This is all because of Maria Ashiqin. This is all because of Maria Ashiqin. This is all because of Maria Ashiqin. This is all because of Maria Ashiqin. This is all because of Maria Ashiqin!!! EEEEeeeeeeeeeeee........

My solution- the 'secret hideout'

2011-04-19T09:14:00.002+08:00

Since i've been soo good and been staying home 24/7 tak keluar2 langsung pun, still perceived negatively, and now i don't have the appetite to eat, workout or even sleep, yesterday for once, i have bailed out my gym session after work and went to a tapas bar somewhere in town for a drink to chill.

After many cocktails and chitchat with the bartenders i have realized that i have finally found my 'secret hideout' where there are not many people and i can drink my problems away without any disturbance.

I have to admit that i am not proud of myself to be drinking again, but this is the only current solution that i have, that made me less hate myself and whoever im fighting with. For years liquors never disappoint me.

At least after few drinks i go home calm and happy and i don't know where all my hatred to go home went to. Probably the drain.

Its just that for now, i don't think its advisable for me to be around the house. I taknak create dosa if jibes were given and finally i burst. Nanti tak pasal2 perang dunia ke 10. I juga berdosa as a child.

So, this morning i woke up feeling very energized and happy. I think i found my hideout.

That place shall be my hiding place when i have too much to deal with. Such a chillaxing place to go after work. Cuban and mexican music and no perverts, that is, the outmost important thing.

Now at least i feel a lil bit, at home.

Camwhore at work.

2011-04-15T14:36:00.002+08:00

me. Friday. Pink and Purple. -BAJU KURUNG ASLI-

When?

2011-04-15T11:27:00.001+08:00

Bila nak sekurus ni balik? when can i go back to the above size where i can go around with sticky spaghetti and still look fit??

Since last nite i have vowed to never eat dinner during weekdays ever again. Neevaaahhhhhh!!

Usaha tangga kejayaan ye murid2. i wont let the scales break me down. i musttt work harderr!!

And jawapannya terpaksa spend extra hour at the gym on weekends too.

Get fit or die trying.

Lonely, Fat & No Moolah.

2011-04-14T15:48:00.005+08:00

i am highly emotional today.

Since i duduk kk ni, i can't seem to control my anger nor tantrums as perhaps all my dearly beloved are all well..soo far far away in KL.dulu bila emosi, tensen, senang boleh luahkan hati emosi perasaan kat my dearies and within a moment, terus dah tak stress.but its different here. takkan i emo nak cite kat my son kan? he will understand but i dont want to tell him all my problems as i dont want him to worry about me.

Here, when im sad or depressed or sedih i don't have a channel to lay it all out. Seriously i miss all of you in KL. too much.

Sekarang ni kalau emo je, i will feel a black cloud hovering around my head, sampailah i jejak kaki kat gym, then once i break some sweat then i will feel better. Tu je cara i sekarang.

Hari ini hari emosi sedonia saya coz it all started earlier this morning, when i decided to join the company's Bigg.est Loser competition which will be held from today until September. So today was the first weight in and prize dia of course $$$ , medal and bragging rights coz even all my subsidiaries companies participated.

So, you know me and scales. I HATE SCALES. and i was depressed coz dah sebulan lebih i work out mcm orang gila hari2 gi gym, makan kontrol portion (ok, i admit i still eat few sweet stuffs but i cut down the portion by half for everything i ate). Maybe i was giving myself too high expectation coz i was expecting to lose MINIMUM 5 kgs, as previously a couple of years back when i workout my fat ass everyday to slim down, dalam masa 3 weeks to 1 month plus i dah slim and fit. So i was sedih and kecewa bila bila naik scales i baru lost around 3kg je, which is BEYOONNDDDDD LOOOWWWWW from my minimum expectation.

I am not trying to be a diva here but i have huge figure so 3 friggin kilos takkan nampak pun. I pelik coz when i wear clothes i do feel a bit better nowdays tapi tak ketahap kena beli baju baru laa.. so sedihh..

I am a 28 year old woman with an 80 year old granny's metabolism. And it hurts when i really2 did make an effort EVERY FRIGGIN DAY, it didnt pay off as much as i want to.

And not helping the fact that ada mulut2 puaka yang jenis tak pandai pikir dulu sebelum berkata-kata. Tadi lepas weight in, masa lunch, i was sitting at my place then i decided to eat only a scoop of rice n a bread, as i was munching on the bread, a Mulut Puaka ni gi cakap kt aku "Eh Fara, macamanalah u nak menang Biggest Loser kalau lunch you makan roti lagi??" If, i ni dah keje lebih 6 bulan kat sini i wud have answered "Dammmn skinnybitch, patutlah ramai orang tak suka kau kt sini pasal mulut kau macam kims." but since, i ni baru je pindah sini i should show some class to her since i am her superior (and have brains) so i just answered politely "takpe, i makan roti lunch coz dinner i tak makan". I need to be civilized and need to not show my true colors yet coz nanti kalau i zasss sikit, orang cakap i kurang ajar tak diplomatic kan. Nanti cakap i poyo la, garang la, etc since im a newbie. So i shall keep my laser mouth shut for this moment.

Serious, people,when you say or laugh at something, tak pikir ke? apa perasaan korang if i say "hahah, you're so short" or " you memang tak sekolah ye to think that way?" or "you're not that pretty compared to X". i can be mean if i want to but i chose not to coz i know how hurtful words can be.

Ok mood spoiled because of the scales. and the fact that i feel lonely and lost in this city. the only thing that made me stay is my family. other than that, i dont know what im looking forward to. Not helping the fact everyone just received their bonuses in my company. And , AGAIN i did not qualify for a bonus coz i am a newbie. its been 3 years that i have been denied bonuses because i was a newbie in the cos.

i am very unhappy, sad, emo, lonely, feels like shit, look like shit, depressed and i do think soon enough i might need some medication help to ease on the depression. i hate this city.

this transition is getting into me. Dugaan betul kali ni. Sighh...

i hate and hate and hate and hate and hate. Can't wait to run away next week.

Lonely, Fat No Moolah.

2011-04-14T15:48:00.002+08:00

i am highly emotional today.

Here, when im sad or depressed or sedih i don't have a channel to lay it all out. Seriously i miss all of you in KL. too much.

Sekarang ni kalau emo je, i will feel a black cloud hovering around my head, sampailah i jejak kaki kat gym, then once i break some sweat then i will feel better. Tu je cara i sekarang.

I am a 28 year old woman with an 80 year old granny's metabolism. And it hurts when i really2 did make an effort EVERY FRIGGIN DAY, it didnt pay off as much as i want to.

i am very unhappy, sad, emo, lonely, feels like shit, look like shit, depressed and i do think soon enough i might need some medication help to ease on the depression. i hate this city.

i hate and hate and hate and hate and hate. Can't wait to run away next week.

Slightly Bitch Mode Today.

2011-04-11T16:36:00.002+08:00

I am very much irritable today sampai nak update blog dua kali harini. Why? Let me give you a list:

1) lack of sleep thanks to my stupid body clock who loooveess to wake up at 3am. Maybe my body WANTS to live in New York. hmmm

2) My Chin naik jerry@jerawat suddenly

3) Having such a bad hair day that i tied my hair to work today padahal i hate tying up my hair to work. So unglam feeling without the tousled- half-curl-goldilocks hair of mine - Bad Hair Days can transform me into one nasty bitch u dont wanna know....

4) I feel bloated and fat today. Even boobies felt like a bit sensitive today.

5) my 'dah-lama-tak-manicurepedicure' kuku is torn. Malas nak gi manipedi coz nanti kena padam bila nak solat so malass!! but i do miss my fakes extensions though.. hmm

6) im wearing a super uncomfy skirt as the waistband is like, pressing my jellybelly when i sit down. Shait i need washboard abs!!

7) Since weekends kan cuti dari gym, and siap makan sedap2 lupa diri kan, harini kena bayar denda kat gym- Bodystep and Bodypump sampe menggeletar. Masaaakkkkkk.....

8) i just loathe Mondays. Only bosses loves Mondays coz they expect the delegated work to be ready by Monday normally. (Bila nak jadi boss nie? :o)

9) orang kat opis semua happy dapat pay statement dorang bonus beriban-riban. Damnnn now im sad.

Sssshhhhhaittt..

3 am.

2011-04-11T12:13:00.003+08:00

I am currently having this problem, whereby sometimes it disrupts my day coz it made me lack of sleep, and sometime just made me wonder. Results? Made me cranky during the day.

Dah nak dekat lebih sebulan, most nites, tak kesahlah when i go to sleep dibekalkan doa2 penting sebelum tido and air wudhuk (ustaz cakap sebelom tido kena ambik wudhuk baru takda gangguan dan tido lena), still, i will automatically wake up at 3am, regardless what time i go to sleep.

Tak kesahlah tido awal at 10pm or 12.30am, mesti pukul 3am i akan tercelik kejap.

Sometimes i woke up feeling creepy but sometimes if im too sleepy i just go back to sleep.

Whats with me and 3am? i dont like dat particular time coz it reminds me of the movie The Exorcist where to most, 3am is the most evil time of the nite. But there are few nites whereby i do feel creepy and susah nak tido balik, especially hari2 yang i tido sendiri.. hmm

i wonder because seingat i, bukan ke kalau kita dah ambik wudhuk, baca fatihah, 3kul dan qursi, insya allah kita akan lena? Why the automatic 3am wakey wakey?

Does anyone have the same problem as mine? I tried to make myself more tired by doing sports so i'll be sleepy and hopefully tido mati tengah2 malam tapi berjaya untuk berberapa kali je..

Whyyy??? !! Maybe i need some sleeping pills to knock me up until morning? Sighhh....

Me and problems. Never ending.

Nafsu Buaya

2011-04-07T11:52:00.002+08:00

I just don't understand.

This time i didn't take any supplement nor medication to help me lose weight. Just consistent workout.

But, dah 2 hari tetiba nafsu makan membuak2 sampaikan i crave for loads of cheezy or oily food. Damnn.. this is soo not helping!!

When i started working out daily since a month ago, nafsu makan memang dah kurang. So i dont know why suddenly i have this massive appetite!

Am i pushing myself too hard? i don't think so. Yes i do pull weights but i dont believe that that can contribute to my sudden teringin nak makannnn je keje..

So with this appetite im trying my best to refrain myself from surrendering to what i crave.

I think i need to start taking my food suppressant macam dulu. You know, im soo dissapointed with myself coz semalam bila sampai gym i sempat detour ke kfc, which was located below the gym, to grab a bite. Geeezz...

I hate this cravings of mine. Gooo away!!!!!

He He He

2011-04-05T14:07:00.004+08:00

I dont have much time to blog today so i'll just leave you all with the following cute and hilarious pictures. I'll blog tomorrow!!

Wahahhahahahahahah.. this proves how much i miss my dear fat cats in KL. Sobb soobbb... ok take care uolss muahhhh!!

Dont Judge a Blonde by her blondeness.

2011-03-30T14:22:00.004+08:00

The fact that I've been blonde since i was 18, and the fact that most of my clothing have 'less kain' and almost all are cleavage-y and mini, one thing that i always believe, is what lies in the heart.

I may be a (ex-kot)party animal, dress skimpily, loud, crazy, free spirited and playful, but i stand the fact that to never judge a person by their appearances coz, i totally, really, really hate people who judge me without knowing me. Although my appearance ini maybe is a kekurangan, tapi i try to be a good person by treating other people well and jadi seorang anak, mak, sedara dan kawan yang sebaik mungkin (i hate stabbers and hipocrites by the way, since the fact that if i dont fancy someone's attitude, i can't act and it'll show on my face)

Most people who don't know me well will comment that i look fiercelah, sombonglah, jahatlah, but those who knows me well know that its hard to make me really piss off to the max.

To avoid people from judging me, to those that don't know me well, here are few things that you should know about me:

a) i have liked a lot but i have only loved a few (adakah ini statement skandalous? oh tidak..)

b) walaupun saya ni agak sosial orangnya, but im actually a bookworm deep inside as i must read something to make me sleep. if tak baca something i cant sleep. i loooveeeeeee going to bookstores! (i used to sit in MP.H or Bor.ders. to read books) i have loads of books/magazines on and next to my bed.

c) yes, looks can be deceiving. I may look notty like this, but i do have a Diploma in Syariah and Practice, apart from my Law Degree so yes, i do know about Islamic Jurisprudence and all hukum hakam dan nas-nas al-Quran so before you start preaching against me, sila ambik cermin dan tengok diri sendiri dulu cukup ke tidak sebelum nak menghukum atau mengkomen saya yang kurang kain nie..

d) i speak to animals. i find it therapeutic since i love animals too much. and i cant stand animal abusers. to me animal abusers should be shot.

e) i have big feet- i wear size 9 n a half or 10. Only selective brands have my size. Its a pain to buy shoes for myself, tapi nak buat macamana kan?? Kalau up sikit lagi dah sama size dengan Paris Hilton who is a size 11. Irregardless that kaki i besar, i still cant live without my 4 inch stilettos.

f) yes, i am 5 ft 8 and a half, and by adding my stilettos, i'll be 6 foot giant walking around. But, To all men, this comes from a tall girl's perspective like me, don't be intimidated or scared to date girls who are taller than you. We tall girls actually find it quite sexy if a shorter man has the guts and the confidence to court us ok. And yes i've dated short guyS before, sampai tinggi pipi/ telinga i je but man they are damn obsessive and confident. Sila take note ye murid murid...

g) yes, i am a single mom to an adorable son. I got married when i was very young, unfortunately my marriage did not survive after 5 years together. It did made me become a better person, and yes, its actually a blessing in disguise. Alhamdulillah..

h) most of my work clothes are black and this was never intended. I baru sedar baru2 nie. Adakah saya se-gloomy Angelina Jolie??! oh tidak..

i) i always feel insecure standing next to awek2 malaysians coz they all are small, petite, tiny and tiny and tiny. I always feel such an outcast, a Gaijin. i feel like, i belong.. ermm.. in New York! (ok ini statement mengada saya..)

j) i love pink, purple, black and turquoise. My son asyik pujuk i to wear more red (since that is his favourite color) tapi susah coz i dont think i suit red

k) i am a proud chocoholic and a sleeping beauty, and yes i can sleep the whole day if i can!

l) my fav perfume is always and forever, Chanel. (coz my dad always buy for me Chanel No.5!)

m) i am not a flirt. Just friendly. Men pls dont misunderstood me when im talking to you coz i have more guy friends who are my best buddies than girlfriends. I feel very comfortable talking to men coz most men dont judge dan tak bermuka-muka.

n) alhamdulillah sudah lebih setahun saya belajar untuk coba tidak tinggalkan solat. Tapi i have to admit, i liat sangat nak sembahyang subuh- belum ada kekuatan dan keimanan yang kuat lagi untuk bangun pagi sembahyang subuh. insya allah soon. i admit ini kekurangan i dalam ibadat. and yes dressing pun dah kurang 'seksa' sikit tapi i mengaku laa masih kurang kain. Baby steps people, baby steps...

o) Suka puasa sunat Isnin dan Khamis- pengaruh my fav ex-colleagues kat Mdec dulu. Dorang sedikit sebanyak memberi ilham to lebihkan ibadat i made me feel better. I miss them dearly :(

p) I can never say no to my son. Coz i always feel bad and guilty that i don't provide him with perfect parents to take care of him. Instead my parents became his parents , a bit disfunctional and only god knows how hard it is for me to answer all his questions about his father and my relationship with his father. Its hard, worse, kat sekolah semua ada mak ayah and i know he does feel a lil off that he doesn't have a father figure to attend to him and take care of him. But believe me i am trying my very best to be his mom AND his father at the same time. Not an easy task but god has gave me such an understanding and matured tiny son to look after so im blessed.

q) i cant live without my foreign trashy tabloids magazines and reality shows. call me shallow or whatever but i just cant live without it!!

r) i love to eat. this is the main reason that if i dont go to gym, i'll baloon like Big Momma or Nutty Profess.or. Like now. Im soo huge dats why im killing myself in the gym daily now. I envy u skinny bitches who dont even need to lift a finger to burn fats coz of ur high metabolism!

s) i can literally, pass out, if i dont have my Blackberry with me. Seriousssly.

Ok enough about all these personal details about me coz i need to do work. So, moral of the story, get to know me first before you judge ya. To others too not just to me. Love, Hugs and Kisses...

Obsessed with Irons.

2011-03-25T15:59:00.003+08:00

My current obsession- Bodypump or pumping irons classes. Am sooo addicted to it as i now attend 3-4 times a week bodypump class at the gym. An hour each session. Never failed to make me drench in buckets of sweat. It consists of pulling weights in different weights, up to you but the best is push yourself to pump more weight as you train longer. More heavier, more calories burned.

I am soo addicted to it coz tak lama i can see the results on my shoulders and hands already, dah ada unsur2 hulkamania kat tangan.. although not girly but me likey..

Furthermore, trainers yang ajar bodypump semua baik2 belaka n sanggup guide beginner like me.

So now i cant live a week without going to bodypump classes got lepas bodypump mesti rasa sedap yang best!!

Tadi lunch friday panjang so I jejalan gi mall, pastu masuk kedai Nike i managed to find something that i can buy and use for my bodypump class- a pair of Nike gloves, since tangan i ni cepat berpeluhh dalam kelas bodypump (sebenarnya cari alasan nak beli glove Nike je) heheh..

But this is useful for people who have slippery hands like me, must buy coz its comfortable. How i wish they have these in hot pink!!!!

Nanti once bila tangan saya dah smart and muscular, i'll take a pic and post it here okay.. Below are a picture of some of my trainers at my gym...

Hokayyy, i need to go now.. Will update you on my lose weight fat-ass program soon. Daaa!!

Love, Hugs and kissess!!

The Legend of a Moron.

2011-03-24T10:07:00.003+08:00

Today pagi2 buta my dear friend Maria Ashiqin posted something hilarious and she reminded me of something stupid i did couple years back.

I can't stop thinking and laughing about it know, as she went and told every living thing that she met when we meet up for dinners/ coffee/ parties. She said wat happened to me was legendary. To me, that is only One of the moronic things i did when i was crazy back years ago. Okay for pride and ego purposes i shall not tell you all about all the crazy things i did back then but just this la..

It happened when i went to meet Mr Sweets for the 2nd time at Euphoria Sunway Pyramid and i was already late when i reached the place. I was nervous since that was the first time i have personal conversations with him only. So i end up amp-ing my drinks and ordered rounds of tequilas and black label.

Started drinking at almost 2am and by 3am i was slurry and was a cartoon. Went to mamak but end up throwing up at a longkang near mamak, and i didnt realised that i puked on Mr Sweet's jeans coz i was hysterical that i puked on my new stilettos (tuan2 dan puan2, this is the biggest NO-NO to do on first few dates with men). and i was basically ranting about puking on my shoes that i went inside my car after dat, wanting to go home.

Here, is the so-called-legendary-scenario-said-Shiqin, i was already feeling sleepy and majorly wasted that i wanted to g0 home straight and i started driving and i was in Subang SS15 at that time. Driving and driving (sambil melayan perasaan agaknya coz dulu2 im always depressed after drinking and crying while driving is my second namee! yes, such a dumbass). Driving and driving to go home in Shah Alam, ive decided to naik Kesas to avoid the roadblock. Whilst driving suddenly ive realised and stopped at side of the highway, when i saw the Sign "Pulau Indah" WTFFFFFFFFFFF..... and i was frozen. Shit. i wanted to drive back to Shah Alam and i end up driving all the way in Kesas, otw to Pulau Indah, at 5am in the morning. Yes. Seriously, at that time wanted to cry but wanted t0 laugh at myself due to my stupidity. Yes, i was a moron. Nasib baik aku tak drive sampe Klang or Pahang or Seremban whatever.

Made home safe and end up dozing off with my fake lashes and all. Next day woke up feeling mortified and knocking my head up few times. Yes, this is just one of few crappy things that happened to me during my crazy days. Coz when i was a party animal, tak kesahlah kul berapa, 5am, 7.30am bila party habis i will drive myself back to sleep. Alhamdulillah God was there to protect me against any bad accidents or other bad things coz agaknya time tu zaman kegelapan recovering from divorce mode.

ok i shall tell you more of these crazy things when i have the mood, and courage to tell it alll..... muahhh...

Viral Fever.

2011-03-16T21:44:00.002+08:00

actually i was not well since Saturday..

but since i hate to admit that im sick, i continued to do the normal stuffs-ie work, gym, etc like normal..

until yesterday, at the office i couldnt take it anymore, the sakit tekak, chills and and runny nose were driving me crazy. Went to clinic and doctor gave MC for today but i still end up leaving the office yesterday in the evening coz nak siapkan keje..

today, my plan was to come in to office late as i need to send my parents to airport as they were leaving to Mecca. However, i felt like a sotong and cant think straight ive decided to use my medical leave and slept the whole afternoon after sending my parents to the airport.

Now feel a bit pissed coz i havent recovered yet although been stuffing myself with loads of meds.

Damn u viral fever. Now i look more like a Zomba bak kata Awie in HantuKakLimah. I hate hate hate being sick coz i cant taste anything!!Dayyngg...

Have a nice day everyone! Muah.

Mammi and Ultraman Mesia.

2011-03-14T11:34:00.006+08:00

The mask i wore kat gambar atas tu, hasil seni si Ultraman sendiri. Konon masquerade.

Us. Just us. Crazy us. Me amor'.

Midnite words...

2011-03-11T00:42:00.002+08:00

its already 12.47 AM..

i have a meeting with EPU tomorrow early morning but i donno why i dont feel like sleeping early like ive used to. Tired, sleepy and my left shoulder still aching- most probably semalam salah tido or i was pushing it at the gym..

i do feel a bit lonely here in kk..... i miss everyone in KL.. oh well maybe i just need more time. i do feel comfortable and more chillax and of course happy to be with my own other half, that is my son here in KK. i can tell ya being a single parent does have its pros and cons however alhamdullilah at this moment god is giving me the strength n thank god baby is such an obedient, brilliant and wonderful kid to me and my parents. i wont ask for more..

hmm i cant stop listening to Innuendo's 1st album yg dulu2 tu.. best2 sgt lagu dia walaupun i dah main beribu kali.. im listening to it now to make me sleepy. Its just soo sexy and relaxing and susah nak find malay music with this quality.. unfortunately they dont make anymore records.. what a pity..

ok i wanna go sleep now. tomorrow got meeting. Dear Friday, please be nice to me. I promise ill eat my vege. Gudnite dear readers.. whoever have someone next to them, pelukla sedap2, for sure im gonna peluk my bantal as my son is sleeping with his granny tonite..

Love,Hugs, kisses. Muahhh......

Fitness Addict : F-Woww to J Woww??

2011-03-09T11:04:00.005+08:00

Two years ago, before i was in a serious relationship with Mr Sweets, i had a lot of free time since i was single and free most of the time, i was a gym addict, who did 45 mins runs on treadmill- daily and another half n hour of pulling weights. From a chubbybaby i had transformed into a fitter person. I shed a lot of weight at that time and was able to wear super skimpy clothes. However one thing i hated during that time, my boobs was actually smaller and its kinda hard to pull a low cut mini dresses to parties without support of my wonderbra. However that was a fun period when i can wear almost anything and especially hotpants with heels.

After gotten serious with Mr Sweets, i've abandoned my fitness passion as my normal gym schedule after work was wrecked with dinner outings and movies, shopping and cooking at home. Me, and him baloooned like nobody's business. There was this one period where we almost ate TGI & Chillis almost DAILY and i have a weakness for fried chickens and fajitas!!

My body meletop naik berkilo2.. and dangggg it was soo unsexy and made me feel like i was not myself. Sometime last year i did attempt to restart my gym sessions by waking up early in the morning to go to office gym and workout and did lost weight, however i stopped when i became confortable. Silly me.

So now, since im in KK with ample free time to myself, ive decided to restart my fitness-junkie self again. Since i have a bet to win by June 2011 against Mr Sweets (where mr sweets suppose to buff up, not slim down to become fit and a hulkamania), i have enrolled myself into a gym whereby its been almost two weeks where ive been going to the gym 5-6 days a week.

My daily schedule consists of going to 2 hour gym classes after work which consist of - Body.Pump, Body.Step, Body.Jam, Cardio.Dance etc and freestyle workout consists of half n hour run on treadmill and pull weights ( until now i havent attempt to run 45 mins like i used to in the past as i dont think i have obtained my previous stamina :( ).

Food intake? Im limiting my outside food intake and try my best to eat bananas with a cup of coffee for breakfast and dimsum for lunch. Dinner however i cant run away from food coz parents cook good food at home however i'll cut all portions into quarter plate especially rice.

When ive started working out back the first thing that is obvious that my face complexion became better instantly and long gone the dry patches on my face. Im shedding some cellulites on the back of my thigh but my current problem is my tummy. So ive learned through the classes that it feels damn good to do sit-ups while holding a 2 and a half kilo bell.

If you all wonder if i feel tired after gym session since before that i came directly from work, actually working out at nite does gives you more energy the next day and i feel less sleepy than before.

In order to motivate me i'll look at my fav Jer.sey Sho.re's hottest babe- Jwoww's hot bod coz i just soo love her soo much. She kinda my height -5 ft 8 ish and have a bigger build than normal chicks so her body is fit, not skinny, which i like. Below are all her pics and im obsessed with her!!

Lets see in a month whether i can shed 1 or 2 dress size ya?? I'll be honest to u guys fo sho!! Btw, im losing my boobies already!! sighh.... sedeyy....

Monday's a Bitch.

2011-03-08T14:55:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was one of the worst Monday ever!!!

It started with me waking up tiny weeny late n leaving the house, i was rushing to carry my office bag and also my gym bag, without realizing that i have left my black favourite stilettos on top my car!! as i drove, unfortunately no one told me until i reached the highway near my house and then, i i've only realised my shoes was on top of my car when i saw one of my heels flying off from top of my car to the highway divider as i was making a u-turn. Had to stop and take down another heel that was still on top of my car. Sad. Rest in Peace you dear heel of mine who managed to remain confortable although its 4-inch high and after been worn almost daily... sobb sobb..

My day continued to be jinxed when my office computer started to give me crappy attitude. Lost some urgent work along the way and made me even more pissed and stressed as i have work to be settled by end of day..

Not helping the fact that theres the Infamous Serdang Cat Killer/Abuser on FB who stomped kittens and its mother to death, for friggin fun. That heated me up more as i loathe animal abusers. For me, animal abusers are idiots who should be put to sleep coz they have no other way to channel their moronic mind but to defenseless animals. Prick.

Then, due to the rain, the jam was massively bad and i was rushing for my Bodystep and Bodypump classes. However, my bad luck tailed me coz ive reached the gym too late and Bodystep class was damn full with people coz its one of the most famous LesMills class. Dang, instead, i have to substitute my Bodystep class with a half-an-hour run on treadmill, while waiting for my Bodypump class, where the instructor is my favourite coz he's nice, cool and sexily hulkamania (His name is Kenneth by the way. Maybe i should be his Barbie. Huahahahahh.Ok end of my stupid joke). Tapi tak tau napa hari Isnin mungkin hari menduga keimanan betol when i went in the class, my sweeettieeeee instructor who was suppose to make my day better by showing of his crunching biceps and triceps, weren't there!!! instead there was another instructor. Daannnngggggggg.......

At home, after gym session and dinner, i've realised that i have missed my favourite "The.Good.Wife.Season.2". Fed up sangat tros pegi tido.

Hope you olss had a better Monday than mine. Love, Hugs Kissess!!

Busy Day

2011-03-03T16:36:00.002+08:00

Busy day indeed in the office today...

Gotta few documents to prepare and vet.

Yesterday terpaksa ponteng gym coz dinner with family- i balik gym hari2 memang lambat..

So today kena bayar balik extra at the gym, most probably spending more than 2 hours like normal.

I am yes, definitely addicted to Bodypump classes. Didnt expect a combination of Yoga and Pilates could make you sweat buckets too!!

I miss my cats huaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....................................

Hugest, Biggest, Most Enormous...... Change Evaaaa..

2011-03-01T12:50:00.002+08:00

Dearly beloved friends and foes...

Yes, it has been too long that this beloved blog of mine has not been updated. Reason? I was busy with my major life transition- that is, i have moved!! Yes, i have resigned from my position in MDeC after getting a better offer in.. wait... yes Kota Kinabalu. As much as I am pretty much happy and contented with my job and life in KL, i am tied with my responsibility as a mum whereby my son needs me the most at his age now. The fact that the distance is a problem for me to nurture and give him my outmost love and attention, i have decided to end my crazy-off-the-wall life in KL to be close to him and to be there when he need me the most, especially now.

And yes, due to the big transition too, i have also sacrificed my supertightclose relationship with Mr Sweets whereby now we are in a state of long distance relationship. So help me god. As much as i hate long distance relationship, i need to do this for the sake of my son. And the fact that when it involves marriages, i do not like the idea of planning as i am highly sensitive when it comes to marriage and i believe that if you plan, things always go haywire. So i believe that, kalau jodoh tak kemana and bertahan gak and just go with the flow...

I am not worried about Mr Sweets being far away from me however the pain of not seeing each other everyday does affect me at first. I thought that i was strong and less-emo and agressive enough to not cry due to the separation however i end up crying from KL airport up till 3 days when i first reach KK. Yes, it was... that bad. But now we talk, like, every hour. So its okay n im getting a hang on it...

Not helping the fact that ALL my dear friends and ex colleagues who i have grown to love soo much is no longer an inch away. Me and ex colleagues end up crying macam orang mati laki on my last day. Mr Sweets was quite sweet to kumpul whole group of 40 plus of my bestfriends for suprise dinner and outing on my last day. I was deeply touched. And yeah thank you dear all for your fab presents. I would not ask for better friends than all of you. You know who you are..

However my mini me came to rescue and he actually comfort me with his antics the first few days im in KK.... And im starting to love being a soccermom during the weekends...

I was living in KL for the past 11 years so it felt quite different- new place, new friends, new boss, new colleague, new office...

Basically its been a month since i've first started work here. I am trying to adapt a healthy living-kind-of-way by joining a fitness gym and committing myself to attend all the classes : bodypump, bodystep, bodyjam, yolates (yoga and pilates), bellydancing, bodybalance etc... So when i started to go for these classes during the weekend and weekdays after work, im starting to feel better and a bit happier again. Although the classes kick ass where i always end up almost passing out on the floor, it is well damn worth it..

Lagipun, i have a bet to win by June 2011. Me and Mr Sweets challenged ourselves to lose weight since we've been eating like nobody's business when were together. So, he is suppose to bulk up to pump up his body kasi besar (as i dont fancy skinny guys) and i have to be as fit as J-Woww of Jersey Shore as she is, my idol... really2 admire her bod coz she got big frames like i do and shes damn superfit but voluptuous. Tu yang mcm orang gila haritu bangun subuh2 gi jog kat taman ngan my dad. Now dah enrol fitness gym, i do not need to wakeup super early but instead after work i'll spend like 2-3 hours at the gym to attend the superfun classes.

And yeah, since i dah lama tak update memang bertimbun pics i tak upload lagi. I shall continue to update n upload pics as per normal starting today on.

So you guys may continue to read my daily rantings/complaints/problems/issues/gossips/skandols again daily from now on..

Actually banyak gila story mory nak luahkan sejak balik KK ni tapi since now i have an agreement to draft.. kita sambung asap hookkayyyy..

Btw, i miss u guys, all of my KL dear friends and ex colleagues soo much. Sigh.

Lots of Hugs and Kisses. Mwahhh...

Sick @ office.

2010-12-29T15:30:00.002+08:00

hello u ollss..
am suppose to upload lotsa pictures from weddings i attend in KK when i went back to KK for a short weekend trip last 2 weeks but i tak dapat on bluetooth kat laptop i nie today, dunno whats wrong..

i am at office and not well, rasa macam nak demam n selesema tak habis2.. maybe coz semalam i kena hujan bila balik umah ... damn i soo freaking hate flu.

i have loads and loads to update but i shall update u guys tomorrow kay since i tak larat gila ni. I think im going home early today..

i shall update u guys tomorrow. Have a flu-free day!! muahks.

Lawak bodos gila

2010-12-16T19:01:00.001+08:00

ok.. yes im a retard sometimes. i need to laugh everyday to be sane..

so.. found these jokes from my bro. Henjoyyyy!!!

Goldilocks with new extensions!!

2010-12-15T17:16:00.006+08:00

heya heyaa...

Since this weekend im going to drop by KK for a short weekend trip for my bestfriend's wedding, i needed to look good, and i was not having my usual confidence with my short do. So, after years and years of admiring celebs with hair extensions especially posh spice's long curls, i decided to burn my pocket and get those long longs to satisfy myself and get a new look. Went and asked my normal saloon to do it for me on last Monday nite. The results?? Puas ati aku rambut panjang balik! Tibe...

I know this kind of hair/look is high maintenance so i need to have some discipline. Yang penting kena ayu sikit during weddings this weekend as i have 3 weddings to go!!

Tips kepada sesiapa yang inginkan rambut sebegini- 1)pastikan anda tidak nangis bila membakar duit untuk bayar rambut sebegini 2)wajah kena ayu senantiasa 3)kena rajin melawa selalu 4) kena invest in good conditioner and hair curling thong to provide great results!

Saya belom lagi mencuba mencurlkan rambut dengan hooverrnya coz takut nanti orang kat opis kutuk hoover nak cantik melebih kat office. Nanti bila saya dah buat rambut personally i'll post it here..

Love, Hugs Kisses from Goldilocks!!

Browsing.

2010-12-09T11:54:00.003+08:00

ok. firstly, sorry the last entry was a bit emo. i was on f-up JK mood yesterday.

today different mood dah. dah ok.

so i am currently browsing to get PSP for my son, in RED colour since he loveeeess red so much now. Didnt tell him that im getting him one, nanti dia over excited.

apart from that, i am thinking of getting an I-Pad for myself, since yesterday i saw my colleague totting an I-Pad with its Gucci cover. soo cute and upon research, yes you can do work on IPad, contrary to what people been telling me before (that you cant do work on IPad).

idunno why suddenly im on a verge of indulging. maybe because i am stressed. and maybe the fact that i have realised that i have adopted new interest- gadgets. next year im thinking of collecting all the latest gadgets as i rasa macam tetibe wasted je duit habis tah kemana- ke baju or shoes je.

hmmm....ok i need to go work. Update u olss soon ya. Muah!

JK.

2010-12-08T15:20:00.004+08:00

Sometimes,
how i wish i was born without feelings.
being a very emotional person, i tend to get overwhelmed with my feelings.
Judging from my past experience, it has been more of sadness than happiness.

My biggest weakness is to love a person dearly, wholeheartly.
When i did that in the past, unfortunately takdir menentukan, jodoh tak berpanjangan.
It took me quite sometime to recover and adjust to changes.
Crying myself to sleep is what i have to endure in order to survive.

After quite sometime, and after end-up fed up of looking for the right person,
i met him, the person im with now.
the person who is imperfect enough for the imperfect me.
understands my situation, understands the broken me and understands the complicated me.
finally i feel like i found the light after years of darkness.

But,
Its true when people say, u can't have everything in life.
I now came to a phase where i have to either be with him, or with my son.
As much as i am happy to go back and be with my son and take care of him now as he needs me the most at this age, me and Him will be parted due to geographical differences.

Again,
Changes and adjustments,
Im at a verge of losing faith.
Im starting to believe that maybe i was born to be alone in this world.
Although long distance relationship is in the cards,
Only with god's willing it will last.

I have faith in him,
Its just that long distance relationship is just too.. painful.
Been there once,
End up i screw it up soo bad and hurt someone that deeply cared for me in the past.

If this is just a test from God,
I will make an effort whatever it takes to remain together.
God help me...

[p/s: sorry for being soo emotional. Been listening to Bila Cinta from Gio, OST for La.gen.da Bu.dak Se.tan. Affected me today with thoughts of the future.Sighhh]

Celebration for my dearest.

2010-12-06T14:43:00.005+08:00

Last weekend was a celebration, for Mr Sweet's Bday which falls on 5th December 2010.

Due to his bday, i bought him a Blackberry to make it easier for us to communicate thru BBM and because i think he deserve it since he cares for me dearly.

And, since its his birthday, me and closest friends decided to throw him a birthday dinner at HardRock Cafe, followed by a party hosted by me, yours truly at Werners with a group of our friends.
Anything to make my other half smile and make him feel like hes the only one...

Pictures spills thousand words....

Hope u had a fab time and loved the celebration Sayang. Love u dearly, from Hajeby Hajeby.

Mischevious in Langkawi.

2010-12-02T15:17:00.006+08:00

Place: Undisclosed due to high security of the trip.
No of persons: 10
Duration: 72 crazy hours
Menu: Barbequed foods, Malibu pineapple starting from breakfast and loads n loads of chocs.
Status of skin texture: Burned and black.
Feeling: Priceless.

Buenos Dias Paradisooooo....

2010-11-28T11:09:00.002+08:00

hello u olsss....

am in Langkawi now... with a bunch of close frens.. 10 of us to be exact...

been here since Friday morning... all ive been doing is..sunbathing..swimming, floating, eating chocs and chillaxing with non stop cocktailss....

i shall update u guys with photos on my next update.....can i not go back to reality....sighhh...

Happenins during long weekend...

2010-11-08T11:40:00.007+08:00

Deepavali Varthukel everyone.
Yes, today is Monday and i loathe Mondays, felt that my long weekend just went off in a jiffy!
Am at work, with tonnes to do, but i just need to update my blog for 5 mins to gain momentum of typing (alasan busuk ni..)

On Friday i had my 'alone time shopping' at Sg Wang and Bangsar Village where in Sg Wang i almost went bonkers coz i bloody lost my parking ticket, and have to burn RM50 for the stupid thing. Then went to BV to get myself delicious Bisou cupcakes to calm myself down and end up buying a skinny jeans from Peacocks, a new boutique in BV, a London brand which is affordable, something kinda like Topshop but with better quality (coz Topshop kan materials mostly macam not that great actually), and cheaper than topshop! yeay! (malu sebenarnya coz pekerja kat situ dah kenal coz d day before i went there to shop also after work, malu malu)..

On Friday nite me & mr Sweets decided to try Craving Kitchen in Sunway Giza (dia sebook nak try 12-inch burger) so the place was nice and food was tasty. Me tried the Spicy Chicken something, so it came with breadcrumbs..sedap gak and price is cheap! His 12-Inch Burger came with 3 bottles of Kampai, costs only RM48 . I recommend to go again for makan and lepak there..

We had poker nite at a good-friend's place that ended at 4.30am. Saturday spent at Pavi and i was shocked with the people queing up at UNI-QLO, a new Japanese boutique opened at Fahrenheit, so sorrylah i nak masuk kan dengan berjela2 orang berbaris.. next monthlah i venture.. Nak tengok movie Unstoppable pun tak dapat coz damn full.

Sunday spent lazily with ending of Tudors Season 4!

Ok i dont have much time to update as emails are coming in, so below are pictures for u ollss...

Mr Sweets attempting to model here. Wadeverr........................

Mr Sweets with the 12-Inch Burger. The burger patty sedap, cuma it was served not hot, but ok laa.. nice try...

This is the Craving Kitchen, situated at Sunway Giza, food ok, price ok, i loike the place, nice place to lepak2 coz its very relaxing and airy...

Me ordered this- Spicy Chicken Wings... dia letak breadcrumbs.. sedap n a bit spicy.. will order again...

Mr Sweets tengah gossip. heheh Sunway Giza is a nice place to lepak or date la coz i kinda like the layout..

Me trying on my skinny jeans... see, such a fat-ass. Bila laa nak jogging balik nie??? Btw i looove the store.

Ok, ni dah buat perangai ni.. sejak akhir2 ni i ada masalah beli barang each in every colour, so when i bought this peacock top, i end up buying in all available colors at RedRumMurder. sigh. masalah..

Ni lagi satu masalah, kat Pavi nampak Stage makeups, tot of buying wet eyeliner je, but because there was promo here and there, TER-beli 6 barang skali. I have problems saying NO la.. crap.

Me with new eyeliner n lippie.. before movie.

Yes, due to SK-II my skin has improved, but it takes discipline. But still i cant leave home powderless coz i have very very bad eyebags.

Ok have a noice Monday peeps. Muah!

Its Complicated.

2010-11-04T18:27:00.005+08:00

i envy those people with normal life, with normal day-to-day problems.

my life has never been normal, since, like 10 years ago.

i envy most as they dont have to face problems which involves big changes.

i do, and i have to face soo much drama at early age.

decisions, choices, all made quite an impact to my life.

when they say good things will come to an end, its kinda true, whether it ends negatively or positively. in my case, previously most time it ended negatively but at current stage of my life,definitely not negatively but i have to decide to do few things that i dont want, to satisfy my family.

he things that im going to do soon is going to be pretty heartbreaking for me but i have no choice as family comes first, and my feelings and needs second. sigh

most of my frens told me that im strong enuff to get thru everything since ive been thru SHITS before, but this time, im not sure whether im strong enough.But ive realised, that you cant have everything in life.

Maybe in my life, i have a perfect and happy, supportive family, a perfect career, good-trusted friends supporting me all the time, perfect son. But i cant have everything. Maybe i was born to be alone and take care my son.

My boyfriend has been the outmost sweetest thing to me, understanding and loved me in the most perfect way, perfect for me. But with my condition of having no faith in marriage and certain family circumstances that is unavoidable, i worry the future of my relationship. Sometimes i feel that i am jinxed. When i finally met someone who is truly faithful to me, like now, circumstances will change and possibility of us staying apart is imminent.

Sigh, can i truly be happy perpetually, someday? sigh.....

formspring.me

2010-10-27T16:13:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/faranottyloyer

Gruelling week.

2010-10-22T12:13:00.002+08:00

this week has been most gruelling, both work and personal.

superstressed with dealing with work that is mounting since additional responsibilities has been given to me, and also life decisions that i have to consider to make everyone happy.

i am in a situation that i can't satisfy everyone, regardless what i do.

if i make a decision which makes most happy, i will be unbearably depressed,deep down. However, if i decide on what makes me happy, others will be sad with the outcome. Sigh.

i just dont know what to do and what to think. These matters are taking a toll on me.

i pray to be closer to god and ask for his guidance as i am stuck and at a crossroads. The last thing i want to do is make everyone sad, even if it means sacrifying most things that dear to me, and putting aside the fact that i am very unhappy with the decision. Tapi nak buat macamana kan, either way, someone is going to be sad. i rather it be me lah.

stressed sangat sampai tekak berdarah n batuk tak baik-baik lagi. Tensen betul.

i shall accept everything with open hands, as i believe dengan niat baik, everything shall be ok and work things out at the end. i hope.. sigh..

Obsessed with JRM and Tudors.

2010-10-18T18:47:00.004+08:00

Okay, i have a new obsession.

A new object of affection and a new hobby.

That is i am in love with Jon.atha.n Rh.ys Me.ye.rs, the ultimate badboy who acted in the Tudors series. And yes, i cant get enough of Tudors series too, too scandalous its unbearable!!

Tudors is a series (of which i have finish 2 seasons out of 4) in relation to King Henry the 8 who is just to scandalous and hot, end up getting married 6 times, and this is based on true story of English history.

OMG, JRM in the movie is just too sinfully hot!! too hot its unbearable!! I burned my whole Saturday nite watching hours n hours nonstop for the 2nd season!

Seriously, i am in love with him. Dearly. I am such a moron for not knowing him sejak dulu, until i watch Tudors.

The eyes, the charisma, the aura... OMG. ultimately mine, mine mine!!!! Dont believe how hot he is? Below are his pics, and you can even see his half naked body most of the time in Tudors... sighhh

Tonite, i am going to buy Series 3 to cheer myself up since ive been in a crappy mood and emo.

Unwell...

2010-10-11T11:56:00.002+08:00

today i am sick, since last nite actually.

i think ive caught a bug while spring cleaning my house yesterday, as i was reshuffling and clearing out my house yesterday.

went to clinic last nite for meds but didnt ask for an mc, coz dalam hati confident harini dah baik.

yeah rite, suara dahlah macam jantan, pastu mata rasa watery and puffy je.

went to clinic again after bfast, doc told me that my voice is bloody crappy (thank u for that doc) and she gave me 2 DAYS MC! Wowie.. hmmm not so bad monday after all.

So i am still here in the office, clearing up few things before i go, dont want to let things hanging while im resting at home..

And i need to do few stops first before i go home. Errands? -Banking, Food then mi casaaa zzzzzz.....

Okay babies, update u guys tomorrow insyaallah. Have a noice day u ollllss...

Pimp my BB.

2010-10-08T17:18:00.004+08:00

Yesterday i went to a bling-bling BB cover at Sg. Wang and after visiting numerous shops, i finally found a shop that can 'bling' my BB..

Actually the one that my heart desire is costing me a bomb (RM1000) as it consist of real, actual swarovski crystals and its just sooooo marvelous!! Unfortunately i am still thinking about purchasing the same as im unsure whether to splurge on something like that. Mr Sweets rationale was that, i was gonna change phone later and the cover will go down the drain and it'll be a waste of money... iyakahhh???

hmmm.. takpelah, while still thinking and hunting for the right swarovski crystals to cover my BB, currently i have purple and silver bling to cover my bb. I want to return to the same place to get the black and silver zebra bling soon!!!

Below is my BB ..bling-ed:

Ok, till then.. have a noice weekend.. Muah!!

Who's the sexiest woman alive?

2010-10-06T17:32:00.001+08:00

i think currently is Kim and Khloe Kardashian. sorry, im biased towards curvy chicks, with boobies.

Ask me anything

Si Jejaka Kryptonite dalam hidup saya.

2010-10-06T17:17:00.005+08:00

Two days ago, my boyfriend asked me, will he be my Kriptonite? I said, kenapa nak jadi Kryptonite i pulak? He wants to know whether he'll have the same impact of what i call 'My Kryptonite' in my life...

to those who arent close to me would not understand what is the connection between my life and si Kryptonite kan.

As u olss know, Kryptonite is something that is considered very valuable, but deathly for Superman. However to me and my bff, the effect is the same but the thing we call Kryptonite are not made of green stones.

For me, Kryptonite is a man, who i love (or used to love) to death, that, regardless how much shitty things that he did to me, or whatever crap that me and him go through, still love him to death. Let me explain more..

When you encounter a Kryptonite, is where your brains and level of sanity just go down the drain. You are basically in a Bangang-Bodoh-Tahap-Gaban state that even your friends think your pathetic. Kryptonites will haunt you life and suck all the good things out of your soul. You became lifeless, all you think is about that person, and even when the person repeatedly do bad things to you, you still terima diri mereka dengan hati yang terbuka, berkorban apa saja (name it! bodoh betol) sambil air mata terjuih2 and all..

Yes, so kesimpulannya seorang kriptonite ini sangat bad for health ye puan puan. Si Kriptonite ini akan bermulut manis, tapi hati tidak semanis mulutnya. Bertubi2 penipuan dan masalah namun, dia jugaaaaaak yang anda nak, yang bertaman di hati.

Yes, i used to have a Kryptonite for years before i finally come to my senses and face the reality, that this person is just BAD FOR ME,BAD FOR MY HEALTH, BAD FOR EVERYTHING. when i finally got a grip of my senses and move on, then the 'Kriptonite effect' slowly menghilang..

Nak tau sapa Kryptonite saya? Lemme be straightforward here since my bffs wud know already who my Kryptonite (used to, ok,now dah move on and dah tak bangang). Yes, my kriptonite used to be my ex-hubby. Dulu pasal dia laa i jadi saiko dan bangang tahap extreme, basically my mind and heart cannot digest reality and still keep my hands open and my heart wide although the relationship has no future. I guess this what happens when you love your partner so much and have a family with the person, you tend to put aside all the flaws and try to make it work, again and again, although its a clear cut case that things arent going anywhere..

Effect si Kriptonite ini lasts for quite sometime. After i was separated, i guess i was then still hoping for a reconcilliation and kept blaming myself for my ex's infidelity. All the 'maybe its because im not pretty, maybe its because im not skinny, maybe its because im too busy,and all other self-blaming that i can think of was haunting me for quite sometime. End up dating few toads but still deep inside my heart at that time i was still rooting for him. Yes, bangang tahap dewa. Maybe pada masa tu i was heartbroken too much, as i was very loyal to him although there were chances for me to curang, however, at that time, i want to be a good wife to a husband. So bila i pulak kena instead, hmm memang tak boleh terima hakikat la.. but everything happens for a reason, God always have better plans for us, that i believe dearly up til today.

However, time does cure everything. Walaupun dulu rasa macam 'Se.pa.ruh Ji.wa.ku Pe.rgi', then ive come to my senses and realised that, u know what, being without him actually makes me happier than before. Plus, i can meet a more suitable person for the imperfect me. Now, he's NO LONGER MY KRIPTONITE, alhamdullilah. How can i be so sure? Because dulu everytime when i bump into him i'll go crazy and menangis tak ingat dunia berjam2 sampai pagi because i rasa terkilan, rasa soo near yet soo far... mata jadi bengkak, party harder to cure my sorrow.. BUT, SEKARANG TIDAK LAGI heheh because i finally realised that i have actually accept the fact and even FORGIVE HIM for whatever he did (memang dalam marriage, dua2 pun salah la, i pun mesti ada salah silap,so forgiveness is the best as both of us are not perfect), because when i bumped into him last Saturday nite, i was suprised at myself as i saw him, and i was OK, i didnt even feel sad, i didnt cry nor do i feel crappy. Instead, i saw him and continued hanging out with my friends and went home and didnt even think about the encounter. Even told my bf that ive bumped into him. Yes, ive grown out of him. Alhamdullilah..

So, my answer to my Mr Sweets will be, no he will never be a Kriptonite because he never did bad things against me to make me cry daily and go crazy.

I pray to god that there shall be no more Mr. Kryptonite in my life, Insya allah ya..

My new haircut- Oct 2010

2010-10-06T14:32:00.004+08:00

Yesterday both me and Mr Sweets were having a bad-hair day.

Solution? After work we went straight to the saloon. Actually wanted to trim my hair and straightened my fringe, but i was hungry for a change. ive asked my hairdresser that i want a new look, something different but as long as it is not short coz i will then have a nervous breakdown coz ive been having long locks for like..forever. (and the fact that im scared that short do will make my face look like pamelo- besar and bulat)

So after telling the hairdresser about my insecurities, he said, its either trim a bit- no much change on my hair, or try out a shorter, not too short but medium length do, which he thinks will suit my face.

I was hesitating for quite sometime when he was washing my hair. Then when the snipping time came, i just tot 'fuck it, hair can grow, lets do it'. I want to see a different me. Bored with the long, curled at the end-look or ponytail look. Coz my hair is just too freaking frizzy with split ends, due to the curling thong.

Didnt cried when my hair was snipped, then he cut it into one level and straightened my fringe. The results?? i feel lighter n yes i think i do look different. And easy to maintain!! Below are my pictures, u judge:

Me, last weekend with my long locks. Rambut cenggini adalah amat high maintenance and needs patience, of which, tiring, time consuming and costly. But i love this hairdo to death.. hehe

Me with my new haircut. I think i look simpler kot with this hair. Yang best bangun pagi sangat senang dan cepat untuk bersiap. yeay!! ( but i kinda feel akward without my long curls. If i miss them maybe i shall do hair extensions soon.. in blonde!! settle problem. heheh)

Hmm.. i shall post more pictures soon ya. hehe (such a vainpot) hmm ok i need to go n theres few things i need to update but.. work comes first! bye!! muah muah!

What was the best concert you went to?

2010-09-30T10:10:00.001+08:00

Ok, dont laugh at this. It was all the KRU concerts i went with my dear cousin when i was younger. Such a die hard fan. Even fantasizing of marrying Norman.. geez..

Ask me anything

What's the most unselfish thing you've ever done?

2010-09-30T10:09:00.001+08:00

after prayers,i always pray to god that he will give light and bless to all the persons who had crossed the line with me. Hatred makes me stressful, forgiving bastards/bitches makes my heart peaceful.

Ask me anything

Would you rather be a famous musician or a famous actor?

2010-09-30T10:07:00.001+08:00

maybe famous musician so that i can hangout with PDiddy and party with him 24/7 hehe . Acting might make me go bonkers n crazy like Angie Jolie. :p

Ask me anything

Would you rather date a lot of different people, or be in a committed relationship?

2010-09-30T10:06:00.001+08:00

used to date a lot of different people, but i cant take too much bullshits nowdays, so i just wanna stick to one and be good, less headache and less stress. :)

Ask me anything

What did you dream about last night?

2010-09-29T18:24:00.001+08:00

i dreamt that im watching Tudors series, then ive realised im sleeping when i opened my eyes and the dvd n my bedroom lights are off!!

Ask me anything

What do you think is your most attractive feature?

2010-09-29T18:22:00.001+08:00

i dont think im attractive. i think im cute- means ugly but adorable. hehe :)

Ask me anything

Happy Bunny

2010-09-29T14:25:00.005+08:00

Last nite i was a happy bunny as Mr Sweets brought me to Midvalley and brought me a complete set for my new beauty regime , SK.II as previously i dont have a regime nor have i practice any good anti-ageing regime as used to heavily dependant on my good genes, my face used to be in good condition and no acne problem,and relying on Clean and Clear (yes, i dont wear expensive products as i dont have any jerawat or kulit bermasalah since i hit puberty) as my basic cleansing practice for face.

However, due to the stress level of the kind of work im in/used to be in, the kind of problems that ive used to face, the kind of lifestyle that i used to live (i dont smoke but i used to drink heavily previously) and my late-nites and early mornings to part-time classes and not helping the fact that i dont eat vegetables (but i love fruits!!), all the above started to take a toll on my skin as my skin are currently a bit uneven-toned and ive realised that my eyebags and dark circles are crazy. Not forgetting the fact that im feeling that im having some wrinkles in the making on my face and it starting to worry me and since ive turned 28 years old about 2 weeks ago, i feel older and i feel that i need to start taking care of myself (i wish im 19 like..FOREVER)

Another reason why i kept o whining to Mr Sweets about buying SK.II for me is the fact that i have seen a couple of my friends who uses the products and their skin are just flawless and supple and to the extend of not needing to use makeup to cover flaws as there are less flaws!! So, when i got the whole set i was happy and the cosmetic lady helped me out on how to use it. I did also receive infomation on few people that the product might not be suitable for all skin types, but alhamdullilah, after using the product last nite and this morning, there are no negative reaction and the cosmetic lady even told me prior to usage that there might be 'tingling effect' or discomfort feeling as a result if my skin is dehydrated/ lack of water. But amazingly, i woke up feeling my skin a bit 'silky' and less dull as i did the whole regime last nite to cleanse all the dirt/dust/whatever crap might be on my skin...

So, if you guys wanna try out, i would highly recommend so but please do get consultation with the cosmetic lady in charge like how i did last night so we know what products will suit our skin.

Below are my new daily regime in order to combat ageing:

Numero Uno: The facial cleanser. Apply and cleanse with water.

No.2 : The toner- Dab a bit of toner all over to remove dead cells and small dirts off the skin.

No.3 (THE MOST IMPORTANT PRODUCT!): The Essence a.k.a Miracle Water. Apply evenly around face- Well known to be the main product that work wonders for anti ageing!

No.4- This is optional actually, but very good to repair skin- Facial treatment Repair Vita C.

No.5- The mosturizer. I was a moron previously as i thought that i dont need mosturizer as i dont have dry skin but oily skin. Salah ok, walaupun oily skin namun kena pakai moisturizer so that it will remove the oil and retain water on your skin- avoid premature ageing. Lesson learned from the sk2 lady hehehe..

Ok ini pun actually optional, but i want to try this, this is basically a gel for me to massage on face at night to remove extra dirt/ old cells/ etc. Massage through face for few minutes and then dab some water on the face. A lil kinda like a mask.

Ini adalah sample eye cream, for me to try, kalo ok i will buy a tub to wear daily. Please go away panda eyes.

The Mask- Contains 90% pitera so very good for skin repairment. Use once a week/ 2 weeks.

The skincare bag to store all my products. Yeay!

Hopefully all the above will impress me with good skin in two months time, Insya allah!!

Love Hugs Kisses from me, the VainpOt!!!

P/S: tengkiu teletubbie.muahhh

Back in KL & Happenings......

2010-09-27T12:20:00.005+08:00

Yes.. after long holiday in KK im finally back in KL. Not in the mood to work but what can do, im no tycoon to sit down and relax and enjoy more holiday.

I celebrated my birthday in KK and went back to KL on Tuesday, as my plan to go back to KL on Monday was crushed as i bought the wrong tickets..heheh.. my son was happy that i extended my stay but i was a bit pissed as i had to burn the tickets that i previously brought with the wrong destination, and bought the most expensive ticket back to KL the next day as i have no choice as all normal tickets was sold out. But, i didnt feel dat bad coz another day in KK is just pure bliss as my Ultraman was around! hehe

On Friday my company was on half day (technically) as we had an Open House at KL Convention Centre in KLCC.. Upon picking me up from KLCC mr sweets drove straight to Penang for a short weekend trip , saje jee jalan2 cari makan sedap2 and to venture around Georgetown. Reached Penang at 1am and returned to KL on Sunday nite...

In Penang, had a great time eating and ronda2 especially at the night market, we end up jalan2 berjam tengok markets tu..and lastly we went to Hard Rock Hotel and Mr Sweets end up shopping for shirts as he lovesssss HRH soo much (i dont get it.. maybe because im no rockstar)

On the way back we had to drive back slowly as the weather was bad, really bad, sekejap hujan ribut, sekejap panas but alhamdullilah we made it back to KL by 8.30pm..

Actually theres soo many to say but i guess i rather provide u with pics easier (gambar Penang will be uploaded in the next update kay...) Enjoy!!

My birthday cakes- Chocolate and Durian cake!!

Birthday present from Mummy- wanted BB Torch but it was not on sale yet in KK.. but this will do thanks mum!!

As usual, me and Ultraman messing around while waiting for my mum run some errands.. hehe

Me and him again, playing around at home. And no, i didnt ask him or teach him how to pose that smoking look as i myself dont smoke!!

Mr Ultraman Ace, 8- years old, sweet talker and deadly. Ladies, you have been warned!

My nite out with him to dinners and stuffs. Yes we are always comical like this. He heh

Me and him- first day raya. Note the super red baju melayu- special request from Mr Ultraman to wear red this year, dont ask me why. So i agreed and bought him red swatch to match it too!

Me, tired on my big open house on my birthday, invitation was supposed to be from 12pm to 5pm but some came at 11.15am!!!!!

My raya nails- short and no extensions, just hot pink with black lines. Bolelahh...

Mr Ultraman, at his favorite place to eat... Hyatt KK. See the big smile on his
face??? heheh

My favorite food to eat in KK- Butter Lobsterss!! Yummaayysss to the max!!!

Ok, i need to go continue my work now. Update u olss with Penang pics soon ya.. Muahh!

FK Overdose.

2010-09-17T22:33:00.002+08:00

Ok. I hate to admit it, but yes, since its Raya and im in Full malay movie mode, ive decided to spend my long nites in KK ogling at Fa.rid. Ka.mil hehehehehehehe

So, apart from the fact that the tv channels are showing his movie, i even bought dvds of his movies to satisfy my urge of salivating on him. Hehe

Dalam banyak2 movie dia, one movie mcm setan sikit, buat i nak mengalir air mata, movie dia 'Lagenda Budak Setan'. Ok, i think this is one of few movies yang jalan cerita dia very unpredictable so me loiikeee...( apart from the fact that there was scenes of him with 'cleaned-up short hairdo- maniss mcm nak pengsan)

Even my son dah macam nak muntah tengok i tengok Farid Kamil. He even told my bf on the phone that dont bother talking to his mum, as his mum is busy with her imaginary bf- FKamil.

Serious movie Lagenda Budak Setan tu Manis!! Eh bukan manis, menarik... haihhzzz..

Btw, today my mum made my day, brought me a Blackberry Bold 2 as my early birthday present. Tapi i bengang coz i nak Blackberry Torch tapi takde jual sangat kat market lagi, susah nak cari. Takpe, ni pun i dah suka suki...

Orait, now i need to continue ogle at FK coz movie dia 'Im not single' dah start.

Have a gooooood nite!! Muahhh!!

What i Want.

2010-09-14T19:52:00.002+08:00

What my heart desire this momento......

Leopard Mulberry Bayswater Bag

Cheetah Mulberry Bayswater Bag

Balenciaga Bags

My fav brand CHANEL...

Hermes Alligator Birkin Bag (especially in pink or black)

Sighhhh..........

Selamat Hari Raya Eberibadehhh...

2010-09-14T18:49:00.003+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf zahir & Batin to all.

Am currently enjoying my raya holidays in KK with my family, especially some quality time with my Mini-Me.

Am actually struggling to not eat all the food as i am happy with the weight loss due to Ramadhan and i dont want to spoil it due to Syawal.

As im enjoying myself with Raya, at the same time i am busy with keeping updates of the latest news of the murder of Datuk So.si.la.wa.ti and her other 4 late acquaitances. Seriously, i felt sorry for her, even when it was first reported that she was missing for a week, my heart irks with worry and negativity as from what i have learned of criminals, they would not held hostage of persons more than 2 days without making any ransom calls, unless the hostages are dead as the fact that by holding live hostages longer, the higher the risk of getting caught.

What irks me more is the fact that the main suspects are brothers who are LAW.YERS, which previously had cases against others , which i think such a freaking disgrace as it tarnishes the goodwill of the law profession. I mean, give me a break la, previously even without this case, whenever someone mentioned about lawyers, there will be crude jokes and comments on how lawyers are good in making wrong things right, good at charging people with an embarrasing huge sum of fees etc. etc. sigh..

However, how i wished that circumstances would be different for Datuk So.sil.a.wati as i do think that the mistake that she did was, the fact that she did not hire any or at least a bodyguard to assist her, knowing the fact that the community knows of her financial background. I do think that once you are a millionaire,and especially you are a lady, its easy to become target to criminals. A well-trained bodyguard not just have the skill to react to emergency/ threatening situations, they are also fully equipped with firearms as they have the authority to do so. I have set up my mind from the day i saw all the criminal scene's bloodied pictures during my forensic classes weekly during my uni years that, if i ever to be well-known or to have a high profile position, the first thing i would do is to hire a bodyguard for my SON, as i deeply know that criminals will hit at your most softest spot.Prevention is better than cure.

It has been my passion to learn about criminals and its law since uni years, its just that i havent have the chance to practice in the area involving criminal law. But i guess that passion towards criminal law never die, and im thinking of the possibility of practising back to court, handling criminal matters, insya allah tengok laa rezeki di masa depan...

At the same time, i am currently interested in the idea of learning Psychology and maybe even taking the complete course, and making it as my third Degree. Suddenly i miss studying and learning. The last course that i have completed was Sya.riah, so maybe Psychology wont be that hard eay? Tengok lah macamana...

Okay guys, i shall update again tomorrow insya allah.. and enjoy the raya pics below ya.. take care!! Love, Hugs and Kisses!!

Dear Bloggers- H-E-L-P!!

2010-09-06T14:00:00.003+08:00

Dear readers who are bloggers.. I need your help..

I dont know what i have pressed, but unfortunately all my widgets- My Profile, My Tracks, My Blog's List, Other Blog's List and musiks which used to be on the right side of this blog has now ter-moved ke bawah...bawah sekali at the end of this blog..

I dont know how to move back all the widgets up to its original position, which is next to my daily posts.. Any tips on how to move back all those things up??

My blog looks n.a.k.e.d without all the widgets intact on top of this blog.

Sigh im such a bimbo in technology. HelP!!!!!!!

My favorite HEELS!! Yes, Im a Shoe Addict!!

2010-09-03T08:58:00.009+08:00

yes, as u olls know all these while, i am a shoe addict.

i don't like plain-jane shoes, my type of shoes are killer heels, with bright,vibrant colors thats just screams 'Attention' and different from others.

i can't live without my heels. Seriously. Everywhere i go, its the shoes.shoes.shoes.

my style of dressing up is plain colored/ leopard colored clothing with bright shoes, super bright shoes.

so, today, i dont want to update much with words as i am tired and kinda busy with work today, so i'll just leave you guys with pictures of my current FAVORITE shoes..

My main rule is NEVER to depend on branded stuff je. I bukan jenis pakai branded je like some, coz i'll buy regardless what brand it is as long as its hot. Sometimes i do see people buy shoes that are soo expensive and branded, but its soo darn simple it looks cheap. Maybe im not the simple type of person kot. I rather not waste a bunch of money if the shoes makes me look like RM10 right. However im a bargain hunter, whenever theres shoes sales, definitely there will be me there!!

The following are my favorite shoes at this moment, however there are a few more shoes that are my fav that i cant show you here coz its stocked permanently in my car!! Enjoy....

gold- flowered flats

pink wedges

swarm of my current fav shoes..

black boots....

my fav. office shoes.. matches my mostly black & white attire

Leopards!! in multi colors!!! (this is why i love Nine West!!)

this shoes is kinda painful actually but i wear it anyways coz velvet!!

my fav Guess leopard.. for club nites!!

leopards leopards leopards... meooww...

this is my super super fav at the momento!! hot pink!!

so in love with this Pinky!! Soo SATC!!

Yes, although im 5 ft 9, me love super high heels. The higher, the better!!

most comfy-iest!!

Since i have a deep passion for shoes, maybe i should do what my beloved Kim Kardashian used to do before she became famous- a personal shopper/stylist. Maybe i should become a personal shoe shopper, whoever wants funky shoes but dont have time/dont know which is suitable to wear should buzz me and let me get it for ya. OOOhhh buying shoes, even not for me is superr fun!! Yeah i think i should consider that..

Will update soon. take care!! Love, Hugs and Kisses from a Shoe Addict!!!

Merdeka in Hosp.

2010-08-31T16:42:00.004+08:00

Happy Independence Day Everyone!!

Hope you guys had a blast celebrating Merdeka Eve yesterday, as like most years, Merdeka Eve will be celebrated with partays with friends..

This year i did not celebrate Merdeka with a bang of partays. Am currently in sj.mc, since yesterday as Mr Sweets was admitted since yesterday due to stomach complications. Rushed to him immediately after work yesterday and overnite in the centre to accompany him. Today is the second day, after ultrasound,ct scan and wadever other medical terms which i have no idea has been tested on him, now am waiting for the results. Am worried if there should be a surgery, as i hate surgery, apatah lagi on my loved ones..

If things does not look good im going to have to take leave from work to take care of him. Risau la, kalau benda2 minor yang tak involve surgery takpe gak, but things looks pretty uncertain now, and i hate the fact that hes admitted, i feel tad lonely regardless where i go now..

sigh, hope he'll be discharged today as i hate hospitals. Nak pula my body ni jenis very sensitive on 'other world's presence', hospitals are not good places for me to go..

Hmm ok i have nothing else to update today, hope u'll have a nice day today. Below are some pics at s.j.m.c....

SuperBuzy iz Ma Name.

2010-08-26T13:27:00.002+08:00

busy busy busy
makin i kemas meja i makin banyak documents datang
baru ingat nak rilek and be happy coz trow cuti
unfortunately today iz going to be the same as yesterday- bizi bizi bizi

am now having a 10 minutes break for lunchtime break.
wanted to upload gambar my fav hobby today- pics of all my psychedelic shoes collection
but tak sempat la
sigh

what is currently in my head now:

1. as usual 'Morning After' cupcakes by Bisou
2. Coke yang sangat,sangat dan sangat sejuk
3. Bila nak abis keje nie?- in my mind
4. nak beli apa untuk berbuka today?
5. thinking of my berbuka with dear friends again today at Damas
6. thinking about berbuka esok with CT
7. thinking about berbuka lusa ramai2 at dsara
8. pikir mana nak beli baju melayu my son- he asked for a RED baju melayu this year RED!!! sighh merah mak ngah laa dia ni tahun nie..

Ok i need to go now and continue my work. Selamat berbuka!!!

Posh Spice wannabe.

2010-08-20T10:12:00.005+08:00

i have always wanted to have a different kind of look by cutting my hair off. unfortunately i have some insecurity problem against shorter hair for myself as i always worry my huge face will look like a baloon. Am always jealous that most people can have shorter hair do, but its ok, im loving my long locks so that i can curl it up or straightened it anytime i want.

so one day while waiting for mr. Sweet in the car, i was bored and i was wearing a leopard shawl. while being the normal vainpot me, ive decided to see how do i look like if i were to cut my hair short.. so i took out my phone.. and this is how approximately i would look like if i were to zap my hair......

bef0re- long curly locks

after... straight short bob!

heheheh... nampak kemas, but i think im gonna have a nervous breakdown kot pasal tak rasa my hair kat my neck. Hmm.. maybe this shorter will be more suitable if i lose more weight i guess.

inilah akibatnya pabila saya bosan. macam2 benda boley buat!

Love,Hugs & Kisses!!

Scandalous.

2010-08-18T12:01:00.004+08:00

after 2 minutes of meeting Shiqin...

shiqin: fara...i really, really cant stand it n i need to tell u something...

me : what the hell did u do this time shiqin?

shiqin: tapi..aku takot.. ko akan judge aku..walaupun aku rasa ko takkan judge aku..

me: watafak shiqin. firstly, i am not a judge, to judge u (tibe) and secondly, seriously, do u think im the 'goody-goody-prim and proper bitch' to judge u? its me shiqin.. SPILL IT!!

(after few minutes of her telling me her scandalous bullshits)..

me: OMG, fuhhhhh lega!

shiqin: wei. apehal ko lega wei, aku tengah cite masalah aku nie?!! wtf r u going to judge me?

me: haiiihhhh finally aku lega coz, i've been there done that too!! stop with the judging thingy pls! finally im not.. alone.. yeahhhhhhhh!! kekekkekekekke

(after rows and rows of bullshits and scandalous stories being poured out):

shiqin: i wondered.. why didn't we hang out together2 and go crazy during your depression year (2007)? because its the same year i went crazy to the maximum..

me : i highly dont recommend that, and i think god knows too, dats why were separated from partaying with each other dat year, coz u were crazy, and i was just too rollercoaster crazy! God knows, if we were to partay together, my god, we would hurt ourselves from too much partaying!!

shiqin: yeah.. i guess so too. too bad. it would have been a blast.

me : i know, but i guess its too bad for our health.

shiqin: with the drunk-dialling and all..and guy troubles...

me : guy troubles? am not sure coz i can't remember stuffs througout that year!

shiqin: err... yah.. me too.. dont recall much actually!! haaaaahahahahahhahahah

last nite was what i needed the most- chill time with dearly girlfriends. friends who can talk to each other with regard to whatever crap or bullshits.or how corny or scandalous, without judgement passed or sinister looks given.

i am blessed that i have these friends up until today, for me to held close, to be there with open arms, and most importantly, to not bitch each other behind our backs.

yesterday i had berbuka puasa at Shiqin's crib in Hartamas with dearest Abby, a long time ex-uni friend of mine who is a Sabahan too. I left office on the dot just to see Shiqin early. Seeing her gives me the excitement macam orang nak gi jumpa bf/gf. Why? Because when we meet we can talk and talk and talk and talk nonstop sampai ke sudah.. tu yang smlm selagi mr Sweets tak call selagi tu i tak sedar dah nak 1 am!!!

Best thing about hangin out together is, no one will act like 'mak-mak' and pass judgement. One of our conversation was about another group of friends that we know, about their sincerity of friendship. ALL FAKE, FAKE AND FAKE. All prim and proper and perfect, but total fakeness. Sweet words and compliments passed around, but inclusive of sinister comments and pure COMPETITION. thank goodness these are not the friends that i have close to my heart. i would have died as Shiqin almost died, hanging out with these types. friends that i have are friends who i can call regardless the time, confess any moronic thing that i did, and instead of them makin it such a huge gossip to pass around, they drop everything to make you feel better. i am blessed.

hanging out with shiqin and abby opened up my prespective and thinking too. didnt realised i have grown soo much. Shiqin told me that througout the years, i have surpassed crazy loads of craps along the way, and now still standing. I told her, everything is just a matter of time to cure. Regardless how hostile,or how unhealthy or how vicious something is. Yes, been thru a lot, but i dont regret a single thing as it has actually educate me to be a better,wholesome person.

I have also realised that how childish i was before compared to now, and the choices i have made. Suddenly made me rethink all the current choices im making. im always at crossroads, coz i always take risks. yes, i am a risk taker. Thats why i have a dramatic life.

i guess a divorce really grows a person up.and after dates and dates with loads of toads who think they are Princes. i almost died laughing thinking of how i used to cry at myself previously and just cant accept reality at that time. How time has passed. Now i can even laugh about it. I guess now i take things differently, if things didnt work out, hey, dats means theres a better one waiting out there for me! (dont get me wrong, i dont mean men, i meant in any matter possible!)

Love, Hugs and Kisses!!

Bored and craving to death.

2010-08-17T09:03:00.004+08:00

i have no mood to work today

yesterday i was soo busy that i end up sleeping right after i break fast.. until morning

today, i dont feel like doing paperwork at all..

what bothers me is my stupid cravings for cupcakes frostings, and it kept on bugging me since yesterday until now

i tot it would buzz off once i break fast with all the food..

no..no..no..the cravings are, unfortunately, here today..tetibe teringat cupcakes i at in NY where its soo bloody huge with cream fillings inside.. warrggh.....

what i can think about now is that, cupcake frostings and i can't wait for work to end as im going to have girly girl reunion at Shiqin's crib today [can't wait Shiqin!! can't wait!!! aku rasa macam nak belah dari opis sekarang jugak!!]

sigh. if only there are 'cupcakes vending machines' around-- see, cravings can make me go bonkers.

ok. i need to continue work. will update you guys the soonest, silap2 harini juga aku update lagi..